Friday, December 12, 2008

Trotting Mad

Mrs. Hillbilly Mom is trotting mad. Trotting mad, as in 'hot to trot', Mabel's expression for severe anger. What, you ask, could possibly make Mrs. Hillbilly Mom angry? I'll tell you what! Her husband's bonus check!

You see, HH told me to take the bonus check to the bank. We do it every year. Some of it goes for incidental Christmas stuff, like the Scout HH bought himself a couple years ago, and the rest eventually ends up in our saving & loan account. It's a routine. Until today.

I took the check to the bank, to the drive-thru, as usual. HH has a mental block about signing checks, I suppose, because he never signs them. So on the deposit slip, I wrote 'For Deposit', which means one of the workers could not sign it and take the money. I'm suspicious like that. The lady spoke from the speaker, and said, "Ma'am, you know there will be a hold on this check." Um...NO, I did not, because it has never happened before. So the girl rattled off how a deposit as large as this check this did not allow the funds to be released immediately. Mind you, I was not trying to CASH the check. Merely to deposit it in our joint checking account.

That girl spouted that $XXXX of the check would not be available until December 20, and that the remaining $XXXX of the funds would not be available until December 27. Oh, but don't y'all worry about HH and HM providing a merry Christmas for The Pony and the #1 son, because they CAN use the first $100 of that check today.

If HH had not told me to deposit the check in the bank, I would have shouted, "Listen, lady! I want that check back right now. I will take it to my savings & loan, and CASH it. Then I will bury the money in a sock in the back yard, where we are going to mine copper one of these days, and before you know it, I won't even NEED your bank, and you can happily hold everyone else's money for two freakin' weeks before allowing them to use their own freakin' money, but not mine! You got that, Sister?"

I think she was a Millennial.
And this is one of the signs of the financial apocalypse.


Marshamarshamarsha said...

That is flat out crazy. End of the financial apocalypse indeed.

DeadpanAnn said...

I have short term disability insurance through my job, and bought it specifically because they pay out for maternity leave and I knew I'd be having a young'un in the next few years. I got a check from them in the mail, and caught some flack while trying to cash it yesterday, but they didn't say there'd be a hold on it or anything. Just put me through the proverbial wringer-- called a manager over, asked for 2 forms of i.d., etc. They know me at the bank near my house and probably wouldn't have given me any crap, but I was on the wealthier end of town, and I guess I look too poor to have any money legitimately. A guy there once gave me crap when I was trying to DEPOSIT a check. I wasn't even holding any of it out-- just straight up depositing it into an acct. Why would I want to deposit a check into someone else's account?

At least HH gets a cash bonus. Tim's employer gave him a turkey.

Gobble gobble.

Hillbilly Mom said...

How DARE I want to put money in my account! That'll learn me!

Miss Ann,
The cash bonus was the idea of the big boss on the east coast who lives two doors down from Betty, the famous author who just died. He started that when he lured HH, his boss, and the secretary away from the company they all worked at to start this venture. That was back when the #1 son was ready to be born.

It was set up with blind Help Wanted ads with a P.O.Box to reply to. All 3 of them were threatened by a high-priced St. Louis lawyer to stop working for Betty's Neighbor immediately, because they were revealing trade secrets. Betty's Neighbor got them a higher-priced lawyer, and, long story not quite so long...they put their old company out of business within 6 years.

That ends my little tale of intrigue.