Wednesday, December 24, 2008

A Seasoned Greeting

We missed three days of school last week, so everybody was running a little behind on their holiday festivities. I hauled in my truckload of Chex Mix on Thursday, to much cheering from various recipients.

On Friday, I found a Christmas card in my mailbox. That is not uncommon. There are usually more, but I attributed the slim showing to the circumstances, rather than my OH SO SUNNY personality traits.

Here's the funny thing. The card was signed by the singular name of a couple. Let me give an example. Say Fred and Wilma Flintstone wanted to give me a card, what with me having worked for one and with one for several years. And while I was better friends with one than the other, I never had any conflicts with either. Yet the card was signed, "The Flintstone." Not "The Flintstones." What's up with that? Did the one signing the card get suddenly and severely distracted during the signing? Did, perhaps, one of the plethora of children run up and scream, "We have a BLEEDER!" ? Did a plane crash in the front yard? Did Jesus appear on a pancake?

Or was this a subtle, coded message? That ONE of the couple wishes me a Merry Christmas and the other doesn't? Did one of them say, "Well, you can send her a card if you want, but don't put MY name on it!" ? Is that how it is? Because now I'm puzzled.

And I wish I had not been so generous with my Chex Mix.

Oh, but that's not all of the subliminal clues. The picture on the card? Was it a shining star, or a Christmas tree, or a snowy scene, or a manger, or a wreath? NO! It was a the king of beasts and a sheep. Yep! And the caption under the picture said, "...and the lion shall lie down with the lamb."

Perhaps my paranoia is seeping out through my fingertips. Maybe I am reading more into this than is there. But I must say, it reminds me of the time my friend from another school district got a Christmas card from a bus driver that she dated once, with a picture of Santa on the front of the card, and the caption, "I'm making a list, checking it twice...". When she opened it, handwritten inside were the words, "and you're not on it, bitch."

Merry Christmas from the Hillbilly family of Hillmomba.


Betty said...

Merry Christmas to the whole Hillbilly family. Have a wonderful day.

Hillbilly Mom said...

Thank you, Betty.

Do you realize that you have the same name as that famous author who just died, who lived two doors down from HH's boss?

OOPS! Maybe not. That was actually Katherine Hepburn. Who HH THOUGHT was an author named Betty, and in HH's book, several years ago means 'just'.

Stewed Hamm said...

I knew I forgot to mail out all my Holiday hate mail. Thanks for reminding me, HM...
And to think that everyone was *this* close to missing their annual reminder of my warm wishes. (that they all burn in hell)

Hillbilly Mom said...

You really need to stop holding it all in. Let those special people in your life know how you REALLY feel.