Feeding The Pony

The Pony was threatened with school lunch this morning. HH did the duty. "You will eat school lunch for one week. They have something different every day. If you find out that you do not like it, you can go back to bringing your lunch next week, IF you decide what you will eat, and really eat it." The Pony fired back, "I do not like the school milk." Duh. You'd think he could come up with something better than that. Perhaps he means that it is past the expiration date. He hasn't had school milk for oh...I don't know...FIVE YEARS! They even have a choice of chocolate milk. Nope. Not for My Little Pony. HH had the solution to that one. "You can take a bottle of water."

Seeing the tear leaking out of his left eye, I revised the ultimatum. "You have this week to name a meal that you will eat, and actually eat it. If you don't, I am putting you on school lunches. You might as well not eat a school meal as not eat one that I take time to make for you each morning." HH concurred. Here's the plan: a turkey half-sandwich with a packet of ketchup (to drown out the taste, according to The Pony), a snack baggie of cheddar Cheerios Snack Mix (whole grain, baked--not fried), a Red Delicious apple, a bottle of water. Definitely as healthy as the school lunch of chicken nuggets, chicken rings, chicken fries, chicken patties, chicken-fried steak, corn dogs, mini corn dogs, hot dogs, hamburgers, pizza, pizza pockets, chili crispitos, a rare mostaccioli or chicken & noodles. Oh, and with it comes green beans and onions, corn, tater tots, tater triangles, tater cubes, and more rarely, carrots and sometimes mashed potatoes. For dessert, there is a little plastic cup (like the size butter or sour cream is served in at a restaurant) of pudding, pineapple, peaches, the occasional ice cream bar, GoGurt, and rarely cake. They are not very appetizing, these meals, even to the adults who have 20 minutes to go through line and choke down something and get back to class. I guess we get our $1.75 worth. Those inmates in the baloney-and-pink-underwear prison in Arizona would complain about this fare. The school used to have good meals, about 10 years ago. I don't know what has happened.

The problem with The Pony's lunch is that I make it, he takes it, but only eats part of it. Then after school, while I work in my room, he runs for the stash of chocolate chip cookies. Thank goodness they are in individual packs. He will take something and eat it once or twice, and then decide he doesn't like it. For example, one year he took a mini-sausage biscuit, then a half hot dog, then a peanut butter and jelly, then a butter and jelly, then cheese and crackers, then cold pizza. He finds time to eat the mini Cheetos pack, or the snack bag of Cinnamon Toast Crunch, but not the 'main course'. HH has a fit. He thinks the boy needs meat every meal.

Last week, The Pony decided that he really liked a peanut butter sandwich with sugar and cinnamon sprinkled on it. Not as messy as jelly, and less sugar to boot. He ate half of the sandwich the first day. The second day, he ate all but a piece of crust and declared it to be "REALLY GOOD." The third day, he didn't eat any. "It was soggy." How this happened, I don't know, since it was packed exactly the same as the other two days. The fourth day, he ate a couple bites. "We ran out of time." The fifth day, he didn't even open it. "I sat one table away from the No Peanut table, and didn't think I should open it." According to the #1 son, The Pony's class can sit anywhere they want in the lunch room.

We'll see what happens this week. I told The Pony if he doesn't eat his lunch, he is crusin' for a bruisin'. Achin for a breakin'. Bleatin' for a beatin'. Yackin' for a whackin'. Itchin' for a switchin'. Yippin' for a whippin'. Yappin' for a slappin'. I try to come up with a new threat each time I tell him this. The Pony himself came up with one: pitchin' for a hittin'.

I like his style.