Rude Awakening

The students seem to think I have superpowers. Just today, one asked me, "Did you give Goldilocks ISS?"

"No. I don't have the power to give anyone ISS."
"Didn't you give him his fifth tardy?"
"I don't give tardies. People earn them."
"Well, because you gave him his fifth tardy, he got ISS."
"If you are not in the room when the bell rings, that is a tardy. It makes no difference to me what happens after I record a tardy, or how many tardies you have before or after that one."

Reports later in the day were that Goldilocks did not get ISS, because a certain teacher wrote him a note that he was not tardy for my class. Funny that on the day in question, Goldilocks did not say he was late because he had to gather his stuff from that certain teacher's class. Goldilocks, in the hall, not even to the drinking fountain yet when the bell rang, said, "You're not giving me a tardy, are you? Because it will be my fifth one." Like I care. You're not in the room when the bell rings, you're tardy.

This afternoon, I had three people tardy in one class. There was no reason for it. They were just lollygagging in the hall. I also had two others late (but not tardy) because I gave them permission to collect their FCCLA Krispy Kreme Donuts for their fundraiser, and another one late (but not tardy) who came in with a note from a teacher. See? I'll work with you. But no permission-no note-you're tardy. One of the lollygaggers had the nerve to say, "I better not get a tardy." To which eagle-ears Mrs. Hillbilly Mom announced to the classroom in general, "That better not be a threat about me giving a tardy. If you're not in the room when the bell rings, you're tardy."

This lollygagger complained that he was late because he had to go all the way to the other end of the hall to get his book. Never mind that we're in the eighth week of school, and he has been bringing his book the majority of days we've had class. Never mind that all other students are expected to bring their books. Never mind that I have told him to take it with him to his previous class so as to avoid the locker trip. Nope. According to Lollygagger, he can't take his book to lunch and then take it to his tech class because books are not allowed in tech class, and besides, he can't take it to lunch because he has his books from before lunch with him then. Which begs the question, "What happens to those before-lunch books when you go to tech class?" If they're not allowed, you must be going to your locker before tech, huh? And I find it quite odd that books would not be allowed in tech, because there is a classroom separate from the shop. I think I'll ask Mr. Tech tomorrow if he outlaws books from his building.

The next Little Einstein to give me a superpower gave me psychic ability. I had just finished warning my 7th hour class before handing out their tests, "Some people got most of them wrong, but their wrong answers matched the right answers on the other test." Meaning that I had two forms of the test, and somebody cheated in an obvious way. Of course they clamored to know who, but my lips were sealed. I only told them, "They know who they are. But I haven't called them in yet to discuss it." Leaving Little E to ask, "Was one of them me?" Dear me. Where do you start?

"Since you haven't even taken the test yet, I don't think one of them was you. Unless you are trying to tell me something. Because I would have to be psychic to say that you cheated on a test you haven't even taken yet."

Dang. I am one mean and crazy, ISS-giving, cheating-predicting, master teacher!