Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Which Came First, Tough Love Or The Egg?

My Little Pony is no George Washington. He broke my heart last night with a big fat lie. It went a little something like this:

When we got home, he ran into the house, grabbed his Easter basket, and headed for the chicken pen. Normally, he waits until I come in, and I stand on the porch and watch him. Because of the floggin' rooster. Survivor has never bothered The Pony, but The Pony is a bit intimidated by him. By the time I carried in my stuff, The Pony was knocking at the front door. That's because the doorbell doesn't work. It's probably something as simple as a battery, but we have not had a working doorbell for several years now. It cuts down on unwanted guests.

I let in The Pony and looked in his basket. "Three eggs today?" The Pony nodded. "Uh huh." He also commanded me to wash them, and stated that he had to go to the bathroom. I took my own sweet time with the egg-washing. The Pony is not the boss of me.

Farmer H got home late, and went to the chicken pen to water them, since the #1 son had been told several times but still managed to forget. When HH returned to the house, I could hear him talking to The Pony. I try to hide out in my basement lair, but HH is a loud-talker. The conversation escalated. I called up, "What's going on?" I merely meant to stop the argument, but here came HH traipsing down the steps, Pony in tow. That man can't make a decision on his own.

When I went to the chicken pen, I saw a broken egg on the ground. But The Pony tells me that he only collected three eggs.
Uh huh. There were only three. I gave them to Mom.
Then how did one get broken on the ground?
I don't know.
If I didn't collect any eggs, and your mom didn't collect any eggs, and #1 didn't collect any do you think it got broken?
I don't know.
You are the only one who picked up eggs.
Maybe #1 went in there.
He didn't even water them. He never collects the eggs.
He might have.
He didn't. Did you drop one out of your basket?
No. I only put three in the basket.
We know you broke it. You're a bad liar. Were you afraid you'd get in trouble?
No. I only collected three eggs.
Did you break it swinging the basket?
No. I didn't break it.
Then where did it come from?
I don't know.
It didn't get up and walk out of the pen. There was a paper towel there, too.
I DID lose a paper towel out of my basket on the way over there. I was swinging the basket.
And you dropped an egg.
No. I only put three eggs in my basket.

This went on for about 20 minutes. We told The Pony, "We are not mad about the egg. Just tell us now that you broke it, and everything will be fine. You can't lie to us. There is no reason. Just admit it and get it over with and we'll all feel better." The Pony stuck to his story. He was told to think it over while he took his shower, and talk to us before bedtime. After the shower, The Pony stuck to his tale.

I called him down to the basement.

You know that we know you are not telling the truth. There will have to be consequences. Remember back in Kindergarten, when you were in trouble every day, and I told you I would take away your GameBoy for five days?
And didn't I take it away for five days, even though you cried?
And you quit acting up, didn't you?
Now I will have to keep you from spending Thursday evening with Grandma. You will go to #1's choir concert with us.

The Pony started to cry. I asked if he was ready to talk. "No. It's just that I was really counting on staying with Grandma." Now don't you fret about The Pony. He can make himself cry, so it is not good to go handing out sympathy willy-nilly. I gave it another 10 minutes. "Do you want me to close my eyes, and you whisper it in my ear?" The Pony came closer. "You know that I love you, and I'll still love you whether you break an egg, or lie to me. But I am really sad and disappointed that you choose to lie to the person who loves you most in this world."

I closed my eyes. The Pony announced forcefully and tearfully, "All right. I dropped an egg when I tripped over a tree root." I hugged him. "I am so glad that you told the truth. Do you want to tell Dad?" The Pony sniffled. "You tell him." I called down HH. We went over the story. HH said, "You know, there will still have to be a penalty for lying all this time. You can go to your grandma's house, but we are going to have to take away something for two nights. You can choose your DS or your reading." The Pony chose to give up his Nintendo DS. Heck, he can still read, and play games on his laptop. But at least he has a little punishment.

Tough love, baby! Tough love!

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