Party Like It's December 2009

I am a bit preoccupied tonight. I can't decide if I want to throw myself a pity party, or just go watch Monday Night Football.

Today I went to my regular doctor for my regular six-month exam concerning my blood pressure meds. Which he is reducing, what with my blood pressure being 110/70, due to my habit of walking the soles right off my shoes since July. He doesn't want the blood pressure to get too low, and I must say that I agree. As he always does, he asked what was on my mind, and I told him about my thyroid nodule, and he pulled up the ultrasound and the iodine test results and let me read them along with him on his laptop on a rolling stand thingy. That thing is freakin' HUGE. The nodule, not the rolling stand thingy. I can't believe it doesn't enter the room a full two hours ahead of me. I am wondering how long it has been this big, what with the last ultrasound of it being five years ago. I swear that lab tech told me on Dec. 2 that my thyroid was 1 centimeter bigger than it was back then. Which would mean that this nodule was there then, and already quite large, or else the rest of the thyroid shrank and this took its place.

Anyhoo, I am quite depressed about it, and told the Doc, and he asked about my treatment, and I told him that I had an appointment with an ENT on Dec. 30, just to plan a course of treatment and schedule a needle biopsy, and Doc said, "I can get you one earlier than that." I asked how much earlier, and he said, "I could get you one today. The hospital lab does them for me all the time." I told him I wasn't quite THAT ready to have one, and he said he could get me one tomorrow, and I agreed. I told him I was really concerned that he wanted me to have one so soon, and he said that he was doing it for me so I didn't have to drag it out and worry for a couple more weeks.

Sooo...tomorrow morning at 8:30, I am having a fine needle biopsy of the thyroid nodule at the hospital radiology department. Loyal H has volunteered to stay home from work and drive me there and hold my hand if they will allow it. I know that was quite a sacrifice for him to miss work! At least this is a fine needle biopsy, not the coarse needle thingy that the gyno thought I would have. Maybe that was just a trick, anyway, to get me knocked out and then rip out my whole thyroid under the guise of a coarse needle biopsy.

Doc says he might have the results as soon as Christmas Eve, but who wants bad news on Christmas Eve? And I think it might be bad, just from the look he gave me and how nice he was. But anyway, like he says, at least I will know, and I will still have the ENT appointment next Wednesday, and the ENT will already have the biopsy results.

Doc says he refers his patients to an endocrinologist at Barnes Hospital who does thyroidectomies all day long. And that it is quite an involved operation, taking 3-4 hours and requiring a 2-3 day hospital stay to make sure the airway is maintained. Loyal H says that if that's what I need, that's where I'm going.

I am SO not looking forward to dealing with this issue. I would rather be with Mabel on her tropical vacation.

And for tonight, I have decided on a small, private pity party in front of the TV.