Sunday, December 13, 2009

How Do You Solve A Problem Like My HH

Against my wishes, and against my direct order, Collector H went to the livestock auction this afternoon and bought five more critters. Five.

According to Collector H, he just had to get another turkey, what with the unfortunate demise of Big (Who's A Big Turkey?) Tom. That's a story for another day. Let if suffice to say that the Mansion has been turkey-free for about a week. Until today.

Collector H also bought a guinea, because he didn't have one. And to round out his lot of poultry, he also purchased three turkens. Turkens, people! This is not our turken, but it is the picture that The Pony said most resembled our turkens. We have two white turkens and one gray turken.

For now.

They are butt-ugly if you ask me, but Collector H didn't bother to ask me, he just came traipsing home dragging three turkens with him. They are not half chicken and half turkey. I could see why you might assume so. But no, turkens are a breed of chicken without neck feathers. They are known for being quite docile, and laying large brown eggs, and having a meaty body, if you are of that persuasion. Here at the Mansion, we don't eat our chickens, only their babies--I mean eggs.

Collector H said he saw a Chinese woman at the livestock auction. She's there every time he goes, and she buys chickens and ducks, but won't pay over $3.00 each. DUH! I told Collector H that she was obviously buying them for food, which is probably a racist thing to say, but at least I didn't ask if she bought cats, which is what my students would have said. Collector H said another guy asked her if she had a restaurant, and she said no, that she only buys them to feed her family. They are used to fresh meat, not storebought meat. She even told Collector H that if he wants to sell some of his 15 roosters, to let her know.

How do you solve a problem like my HH?

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