A Little Dust On The Bottle

Perhaps you recall my personal motto: People Piss Me Off. Indeed, they do. But I stop short of physical confrontation. Oh, maybe once upon a time, at a casino, I may or may not have uttered the words, "F*** you! You f***ing f***er!" when a snot-nosed frat rat pulled my crank in a drunken display of macho bravado. But I did not lay a hand on him, not even a retaliatory yank of his crank. Nope. Mrs. Hillbilly Mom can bottle up the crazy. Then she pours it ever so slowly from a chilled bottle of It's My Blog and I'll B*tch if I Want To. No laying on of hands for Mrs. HM.

Apparently, some people never learn to control their anger in a socially acceptable way. Take, for instance, one Laura Lundquist. Even at the grand old age of 98, Laura Lundquist still has some fight left in her. Not so for her unfortunate roommate. Make that her former unfortunate roommate. Here's the link, but the gist of the story is that LL was perturbed with her 100-year-old roommate, so she strangled her. Allegedly!

First there was a kerfluffle over a wayward table, and next thing you know, Roomie is bedded down with a plastic bag over her head. All fingers point to LL, who was pissed at Roomie for complaining about a table LL had placed at the foot of Roomie's bed. I must take Roomie's side in this one. Put that freakin' table at the end of your OWN bed, LL! Don't play the passive-aggressive game of baiting Roomie with a table encroaching on her territory, just to see if she would take it. Roomie is not your little punk. Not any more, that's for sure!

LL denies the plastic-bag murder. If only people would chose paper instead of plastic, Roomie might still be kickin'. She had made LL mad anyway by claiming she would outlive LL. Au contraire, said LL with a plastic bag behind her back. Now LL is getting a psychological evaluation. Gosh! What if she's fit for trial, and gets LIFE in prison? What if the judge lectures her that she needs to just grow up? I bet LL gets a room to herself now. She can put that table anywhere she wants.

Just in case Laura Lundquist is assigned another roommate, future roomie had best heed this advice:

There might be a little dust on the bottle,
But don't let it fool ya about what's inside.