Thursday, April 30, 2009

Random Thought Thursday 4-30-09

Why don't we just roll out the welcome mat and let everybody who wants a piece of the American pie come on in? Seriously. Let them steal planes and fly in, or backstroke across the Rio Grande, drift across the ocean in an inner tube, row across Lake Ontario, launch themselves on a North Korean rocket, jet-ski over from Russia, package themselves as freight and hitch a ride on a banana boat. Come one, come all! Get your freedom while it's hot! Free food, free lodging, free medical care, free money!


Two new additions to Mrs. Hillbilly Mom's Never Ever List for students:

1) Never, ever take Mrs. Hillbilly Mom's glasses off her desk, put them on your fat head, and walk around the room. One would have thought that the edict to never, ever touch anything on Mrs. Hillbilly Mom's desk would have sufficed.

2) Never, ever scoot your desk forward, pull up your chair, scoot your desk forward, pull up your chair, etc. until you are against Mrs. Hillbilly Mom's desk, where you turn in your paper, then push your chair back, scoot your desk backwards, push your chair back, scoot your desk backwards, etc. until you are back in the row.


Can we place all emo kids in a room where they can emo to their heart's content, and only affect other emos, and spare the rest of the world from their emo-ness?


When a kid gets a metal shaving stuck in his eye, and comes to our school with a white piratey patch taped on, and whines about how it hurts, so other kids tell him he needs to go to the doctor, and he says he will not go, because doctors are stupid, and furthermore, that he's going to rip that pirate patch off before he goes home, and other kids tell him he could go blind, and he says he doesn't care...can we make him dream that he is blind in that eye, and videotape him so we can see him bawling like a little baby out that one good eye and the empty, sunken socket where his other eye could have been?


Why does a certain lunchmate think that Air Force One buzzing New York City is more serious that a possible swine flu pandemic? And why did I feed her fire of indignation by telling her that some people in New York crapped their pants? Because she ate that right up. Which is probably a poor choice of words for her reaction. But I don't care.


DeadpanAnn said...

Well, if the swine flu hits here, we're ready. Tim said that today the hospital pharmacy ordered a quarter of a million boxes of Tamiflu. They normally have fewer than 20 boxes on hand. I'm thinking there's a buttload of expired Tamiflu in their future.

Hillbilly Mom said...

Miss Ann,
Or there's a buttload of cover-up concerning the not-swine flu. Because you know we must call it the H1N1 flu, which absolutely rolls off the tongue, because somewhere, some swine might be offended.