Monday, April 20, 2009

News Of The Strange

With so much free time on my hands this week, I happened upon some stories in the Strange but True section.

Woman Shot in the Head, Makes Tea
Mississippi-a woman was shot in the head by her husband, but didn't know it. She held a rag to her head, made some tea, and offered it to the officer who responded. Oh, her husband killed himself on the porch after shooting her. So there was a happy ending. No word on whether the cop accepted a beverage from a bleeding, rag-daubing woman with a hole in her head. Guns don't put holes in people's heads...people do.

Teacher Resigns After Taking Students to Strip Club
Ohio-a 47-year-old female teacher resigned after taking four 17- and 18-year-old female students to see a male stripper. But wait! It's OK! She said that their parents gave her permission to take them, see? Not that it makes any difference, but she had previously served as the 8th grade cheerleader coach.

California High School Cheer Coach Fired After Posing for Playboy
California-girls who didn't make the cheerleading team told administrators that the sponsor posed for Playboy. Yes, nude. The school officials said they had no idea, since the computer system they use to screen applicants blocks such sites. Looks like somebody might be getting a new pr0n computer. Thank the Gummi Mary this didn't happen in Texas, where those cheerleader parents KILL anybody who gets in the way of their girls' inalienable right to cheer.

What apparently uncovered the coach was when some girls didn't make the cheerleading squad because they had a few unexcused absences from school. Their parents then made copies of Christine and dropped the pictures on the principal's desk.

Ha, ha! What uncovered the coach! Oh, and the girls had 'a FEW unexcused absences from school' did they? It's not THEIR fault--it's that cheerleading coach's fault.

Florida Students Required to STAND During Pledge of Allegiance
Florida-That's outrageous! Or is it? What's the deal with standing? Are they all infirm? Can they not stand for 30 seconds? They'd better not be taking that drug that Sally Field advertises if they can't stand for 30 seconds. The proposal to NOT require students to stand has been tabled until a May vote. Is it because the school was afraid of the 'dozens of veterans' who showed up at the school board meeting to protest such a change? You know those terroristy veterans. Can't be too careful.

Fake Waiter Accepted Money From Patrons
New Jersey-a man dressed in tan pants, a dark blue shirt, and a yellow tie asked patrons if there was anything else they needed before paying. They said no and paid him. He left and went to another restaurant and did it again. Can't find the original link, but this one will do. Maybe he should re-think this impersonation skill of his, and pretend to be a bank teller. The money would be better.


Friggin said...

Hi Hillbilly Mom, just doing a drive-by on the recommendation of one of your fans...Cazzie "I Don't Do Mornings". Funny as...

Hillbilly Mom said...

Here in Hillmomba, we pronounce your name "Freakin."

Cazzie and I go WAY BACK to the days of Big Blogger. She's a class act.