Tuesday, April 28, 2009

It's Not Making Me Stronger

This broken neck is really kicking my butt. Whoever came up with that saying what doesn't kill me makes me stronger has obviously never been near death from a broken neck. I have been in severe pain since last Wednesday night when a recliner cough resulted in a neck pop and instant pain. I would have to classify it as a 9 on a scale of 10. The only pains in my life that beat it are a gallstone and a broken bone. Fake vicodin from 2005 does not so much take the pain away as it reminds me of how much worse the pain gets when it wears off. Ibuprofen keeps me from crying while I'm at school. Those heat patch thingies do not live up to Mabel's endorsement. BenGay is weak, and TheraGesic works for about 15 minutes.

Today is the first day the pain has been bearable. I am able to think about other things for a few moments before remembering that I am in severe pain. Let's hope I'm on the road to recovery. I'm thinking the only thing that might have saved me would have been some type of muscle relaxer. I don't know for sure, having never taken a muscle relaxer, but my muscle definitely needed some relaxing. Unfortunately, that would have necessitated a trip to the doctor, which I didn't plan on until after the weekend, what with giving this demon pain a few days to get better, a la a stiff neck. This was no stiff neck. And by Monday, I figured that the doctor would be booked up with people thinking they had the swine flu, so I crossed that appointment off my list.

My mom (she of Ye Olde Expired Food Shoppe fame after the 4-year-old Ranch Dressing attempt on my life one Thanksgiving) kicked in with some fake vicodin from 2007 when she had that FAT RED PINKY FINGER that the orthopedic specialist wanted to lop off. Don't worry, she still has all 10 digits. She also tried to foist some unknown pills on me in a bottle with the label rubbed off, but I tossed them right in the trash. I thought I saw a faint shadow word like s e p t r i n on it, which I know is an antibiotic, which she was taking for a month before the lopping recommendation, and if there's one thing I know, it's not to take anybody else's antibiotics, and since I am allergic to the -cillins and cefprozil, I did not feel like taking a chance on anaphylactic shock, even to get rid of the severe neck pain if it was instead some kick-a$$ painkiller specifically designed for broken necks due to recliner accidents.

Maybe I should try some Benadryl.

3 comments:

Chickadee said...

Good grief woman. I wonder what you did to your neck. Pulled a neck muscle? Snapped a tendon? Are you getting headaches too? Or is the neck pain so bad that any other pain feels like a wee cramp?

DeadpanAnn said...

Take the Benadryl. At least you'll go to sleep.

You just injured yourself while reclining. How the hell....????

BTW I'm sitting here with my fingers crossed hoping there will be a pony blog post re the airplane photo op stunt.

Hillbilly Mom said...

Chick,
Since everything is still operational, I think I must have strained some muscle fibers.

No headaches, just the neck/shoulder pain, and a pain down the side/back of my right arm. Some nerve must be getting pinched by the muscle swelling.

Today is the best I've felt since Thursday, so I hope I'm on the mend...or developing more pain tolerance.


Miss Ann,
Let's set the record straight: I did not just injure my neck while reclining. Who has time to merely recline? Not Hillblly Mom! I was reclining because I couldn't sleep due to HH's breather blowing fetid breath on me, and I coughed due to dust in the air duct system.

See? I was multi-tasking. Coughing and reclining.

Ozark Hill Gal has a thing or twenty to say about that plane stunt.