Sunday, January 11, 2009

How HH Stole Christmas

Yesterday I told you that HH is chronologically challenged. Today, I out the Accidental Grinch.

Every Christmas, HH plays Santa for the daycare that the boys used to attend. It is a home daycare, with 10 kids, all under the age of six. The Daycare Lady calls HH and sets up the time. She puts the kids down for their nap at 1:00, and tells them she has connections with Santa, and he will come if they all go to sleep. Which of course they do, because they're little kids, and she plays them a video, and they fall asleep.

While the tots are nestled all snug in their cots, Daycare Lady leaves them with her assistant, and goes next door to the house she lives in and brings out some toys she has gotten for the daycare cottage. She leaves them on the porch, and when the HH Santa arrives at 3:00 when the kids wake up, he brings them in while "Ho ho ho"-ing. It's a clever plan, and it always works. HH brings the kids each a little toy like a ball or something they can't choke on, and gives them each a candy cane out of his red Santa sack. Then he gets out the big gifts for the daycare cottage.

This year, Daycare Lady left a message that she was trying to contact HH to set the day of Santa's arrival. I told HH two days in a row that he needed to call her. He said he would. The week we were off for Christmas, I had a bad premonition, and said, "You didn't call Daycare Lady, did you?" HH assured me that indeed, he HAD called her the week before, and that he was going on Wednesday. He had already arranged to leave work early to get there at 3:00. I told him that was very odd, because Wednesday was Christmas Eve, and Daycare Lady never worked on Christmas Eve. HH said, "Well, times are tough with the economy this year, and I guess she needs the money." I still told him that seemed really odd, that she shouldn't be open on Christmas Eve. He said I was making a big deal out of nothing, that he had written down the day when she told him.

All week, the boys and I did what we normally do on a day off, which meant that The Pony and I were at our computers, and #1 was on his phone or playing Guitar Hero. On Christmas Eve, the phone rang around 10:00 a.m. It was Daycare Lady.

Hillbilly Mom? Did HH mention anything about being Santa?

Yes. He's leaving work early so he can be there at 3:00.


You mean today?

Yes. He said 'on Wednesday'. I told him you never work Christmas Eve, but he said you were this year.

I knew that's what happened!

What do you mean?

It was yesterday. I had a lot of disappointed kids. I waited, and when he didn't show up, I told them Santa must have been really busy, so I went out on the porch and told them 'Look what Santa left us!' They went along with it, but they were really wanting to talk to him. I tried to call your house all afternoon, but I kept getting a busy signal, and I tried to call HH, but he didn't answer. Then I tried to call your mom and your sister, but nobody answered. I was afraid something had happened.

Oh! I'm SO sorry. That's just like HH to get the wrong day. We were on internet, and HH had a fire at work, and my sister and mom were at the hospital with my nephew because he was getting released. I feel really bad. I TOLD him you didn't work on Christmas Eve!

Well, I just wanted to see what happened.

HH is planning on coming there today at 3:00. I can try to call him.

I'm not working today. But I have my granddaughter here until 2:00. She would not even tell the mall Santa what she wanted. She whispered in my ear, 'I'm waiting until the REAL Santa comes to the cottage.'

I'll see if he can come by your house. It's the least he can do.

I called HH, who wouldn't answer, so I called the office, who paged him and couldn't find him. Then he called back about 30 minutes later, and I read him the riot act. I told him to call Daycare Lady and apologize, and that he had BETTER make arrangements to get there by 2:00. HH said he couldn't make it that early. I told him he WOULD.

So...the HH Santa made it to Daycare Lady's house by 2:00, and she had rounded up 5 more of the kids, and they talked to Santa, who told them he was SO rushed that day that he just flew over and dropped the cottage toys for them, and then they took pictures to show the others after Christmas. I think everything was smoothed over.

HH's brain is two sizes too small.


Jennifer said...

That is awesome though the lil gig he has going on.

This lil tale reminds me of a provider in my SDA who called me two days before Christmas wanting to know if I had a Santas Costume.

Are you going to have to start pinning notes on HH like they did when we were in Kindergarten?

Chickadee said...

Boo HH! What's the matta with him? I'm glad you read him the riot act. Did he get a few lumps of coal for Christmas?

Hillbilly Mom said...

I think HH could benefit from the pinned-on notes. What a scathingly brilliant idea!

No coal. Though I am thinking about the lumps as a belated Christmas gift.