Sunday, July 27, 2008

A New Addition

The Mansion has a new resident. He's 5' 8" tall, 36" wide, and lives in our kitchen. His name is Frigidaire. Only one name for this cool cat. If it's good enough for Fabio, Madonna, Cher, Coolio, Bono, Sting, Prince, Oprah, and Liberace, it's good enough for Frigidaire.

HH is now swapping out my small pantry to make Frig more comfortable at the end of Cabinet Row. I am afraid to watch. The #1 son is helping. The Pony and I are hiding in the basement.

It was time to get rid of our old houseguest. He had become incontinent. I was tired of putting a towel under his bottom every day. It goes without saying (but I feel the need to say it anyway) that HH's exploratory surgery on him was less than a success. Thank the Gummi Mary there was no malpractice suit. I think he was a bit addled after that expired can of biscuits (buttermilk!) blew his brains out. The old houseguest, not HH. The scar was quite pronounced every time his door was opened. He's on the porch now. Isn't that where all hillbilly appliances live out their days? At least we gave away our old couch, sparing me the embarrassment of an unsightly porch couch. I made sure that the old refrigeration unit was on the SIDE porch, not the front porch. HH says he is moving to the garage, but I don't want the leaky old gent in there. He's nearing the end of his second decade. HH can fix him and put him in the BARn if he so desires.

4:11 p.m. Whew! The replacement is now complete! HH and the boy have even run a water connection to Frig, so he can dispense the elixir of life. And ICE!

Sometimes, HH is good for something.

2 comments:

DeadpanAnn said...

Sweet! I love getting new stuff. Congrats on your new addition to the family!

Hillbilly Mom said...

Miss Ann,
Thank you. I had a more petite member in mind, but HH insisted on this brute. His adoption fee was too steep for my tastes, but since HH's motto is 'you don't live forever, spend it while you're here, the kids can fend for themselves' we went with the big steel guy. And I must admit that he IS beautiful.