Sunday, July 20, 2008

My Kingdom For An iPhone

The #1 son is on a quest. A quest for the elusive iPhone 3G. I wouldn't know an iPhone 3G if it bit me on the butt. On the contrary, I would scream, "What the f*** just bit me on the a$$?" If I was alone, that is, when the butt-biting electronic devil punctured my tender flesh.

He called our local AT & T store, where I got MY new phone a couple weeks ago (see how good I am at keeping secrets? I no longer have my 5-year-old brick of a cell phone. I have joined the modern world). They do not have the iPhones in stock. But he can order one and pick it up in the store in about 10 days. That's an eternity to a child. So the boy came up with a scathingly brilliant idea. Since HH was taking him to the Cardinal's game in the city, #1 looked up the closest Apple Store to the stadium. Hey, there are only three Apples in the whole state. And one is in Kansas City. After much fit-throwing, HH agreed to drive the 9 miles out of his way to check on the iPhone. Alas, the cupboard was bare. The clerk told my boy that not only did they have no iPhones on Saturday, but that they did not expect any on Sunday, and they would, perhaps, get a shipment on Monday. His best bet was to come early Monday morning. Which ain't happenin' for my boy. I will take him to the local AT & T store to order an iPhone on Monday.

The boy has the money. HH gave him a bunch of junk aluminum, plus two bags of cans the boy has faithfully stomped, and a pipe of some indeterminate origin, and my mom gave him a metal door frame. They went to the junk dealer, and danced with joy when the boy was given a ticket for $264. Plus, he is selling his old iPhone to his fellow electronic wizard he works with at church. He says he is selling it for $200, which I think is a rip-off, because the kid can get a new one for $199, but my boy says no, he would have to also purchase an expensive service plan. The way it stands, the kid has some kind of pay-as-you-go plan. To complicate matters, this kid had just purchased a new Razr for $134 from The Devil's Playground, but said he had 15 days to return it, so he did.

Now there are no iPhones in the land, and the kids have to wait. The electronic wizard has volunteered to pay half of rush shipping costs if they are available. We will see.

Back in my day, kids were happy just making mud pies on the sidewalk.


Stewed Hamm said...

"Back in my day, kids were happy just making mud pies on the sidewalk."

They still do that, only now they use iMud.
iMud is much trendier and ecologically friendlier than regular old boring dumb mud. In fact, all of today's hot bands and important celebrities are always saying how wonderful iMud is... and best of all, it's made from fair trade mud so the culturally superior and indigenous mud farmers in Mudistania don't have to live in squalor. (It's true, Bono said so!)

You should definitely order your kids some iMud today!

Hillbilly Mom said...

Shh...I don't want my kids to hear about the new iMud.

It's getting harder and harder to pour that generic cereal into the name brand boxes without them finding out, too.