Call Me. I Dare You.

I'm talkin' to YOU, AT&T! Yes, YOU! Go ahead and give me that survey call within 48 hours of my visit to the AT&T Store. Go ahead. Make my day.

Last night, the #1 son got to fiddling about with our AT&T statement. I think he checks on whether he has used too much of unlimited something or other, just so he can mention it several times before I find it on the bill. So he comes downstairs all indignant while I am trying to watch that very special Big Brother episode where they finally say what happened to Chima, whether she quit or was kicked out. "AT&T is billing us for that laptop connect card that didn't work. Our bill is over $400." Yeah. Welcome to my world.

I told him to call corporate, but he said it was after business hours. He said that the girl last time had told us to bring in the receipt if anything showed up on our bill. You know, from that AT&T laptop connect card that didn't work at our house. The one they advertise with a three-day FREE trial, that we returned in less than 24 hours.

We went to the AT&T Store after school. There were over twenty people milling around that crackerbox. Six of them were a dude with a white ZZ Top beard in a motorized wheelchair and his adult son and four grandkids under the age of four. They were told to sit in the corner, where they performed various feats of gymnastics including a backbend against the front door when we tried to enter. The dude wheeled nervous laps around the store, herding those kids back to the corner with each trip. And each trip, he would say, "Don't make me have to kill you." I kid you not. Then they started clamoring that they had to pee, so the son/dad took them outside to the parking lot. When he returned, he shared too much information in that he had opened both car doors so they couldn't be seen, and let them pee there. That didn't phase me. I knew that by the time I got out of there, that pee would be long evaporated.

We stood (you know, because there are no chairs in an AT&T Store, because that would discourage disgruntled customers from leaving in a huff, but would instead encourage them to wait comfortably nurse their grudges until time to let fly their grievances) for 50 minutes awaiting our turn. #1 went outside after 20 minutes and called AT&T corporate office people, and after 20 minutes of haggling, had a code number and a promise that the matter would be taken care of by September 2. Isn't that sweet of them? That's the due date on our bill. When we finally got to talk to Jenny (REAL NAME), the one who took our returned connect card and said everything would be fine, she said not to pay the bill until we knew the right amount. I said, "Won't that make me late on my payment, and then I'll be charged a late fee?" Jenny said no, that the bill wasn't past due until September 12. Uh huh. But I like to pay my bills when I get them, unless it's that pesky internet provider bill, and then I sometimes wait three weeks. Which is what started this ball of crap rolling.

Anyhoo, Jenny said that I should call HER on September 2, on her cell phone, which she will answer, and I won't have to take an hour out of my schedule to drive there, and another hour to wait in line at the circus.

Who's betting I have to go back down there? Who's betting that Jenny even works there on September 2? Who wants me to post Jenny's cell phone number?