Friday, June 12, 2009

What Did You Expect? This Is Missouri.

Which state has the biggest collection of idiots? Not that I'm proud of it, or bragging, but Missouri has to be right up there in the top five of our 57 states for having the stupidest population. If we're not accidentally shooting our wives while trying to install a big-screen TV, or purposely shooting up the Holocaust Museum, we're driving around with unexploded World War II mortar rounds.

That's right. Hot off the press. Breaking news. A dude found two WWII mortar rounds in his brother's house while cleaning out stuff for an auction. Did he call the police and ask what to do with them? NO! This is Missouri! He did what any typical white praying bitter gun-clinger would do. He put the mortars in his car and drove them to City Hall. Wouldn't you? Oh, and did I mention that this house where he found the mortars was right across the street from City Hall?

You see, in Missouri, nobody walks. Unless you're a drunk on New Year's Eve and you walk down a dark outer road just so a State Representative can run over you and leave the scene of the accident and make up a lie and persuade all his friends in the truck to tell the same lie, but they have consciences, not being politicians, and crack under the crackerjack questioning of the local law enforcement, but you are still just as run-over and unconscious, but eventually get out of the hospital and find out the State Rep even stole your cell phone from the scene and forgot to tell the police about it for a month or two. But I digress...

I can't make this stuff up. Here's a quote from the article:

The Department of Defense (DOD) is preparing to detonate two mortar rounds in an unpopulated area of Bonne Terre’s industrial Park. Local residents could hear a loud boom, depending on the cloud cover.

Bonne Terre city officials called in members of the DOD’s ordnance disposal unit to determine whether the rounds are dangerous. Military officials said the mortar rounds appear to be intact, and could hold enough TNT for a five pound charge.

To be on the safe side, the military officials decided to detonate the rounds in a secluded area where no one would be in danger of harm. Detonation was scheduled sometime around 5 p.m.

Good to know. Military officials decided to detonate the mortars in a secluded area, rather than a populated area. I think that kind of goes without saying. Then again... this IS Missouri.

At least that dude didn't drive those mortars to Washington D.C. He must have some out-of-state blood in him.


Chickadee said...

It's stories like that that make me PROUD to be a Missourian. Sigh. Actually, when I see stories of us hit the nation, I cringe a know, because I wonder what my out-of-state friends must think.

We're not all bad! But then again, after the day I had at work today,(adults asking me why they couldn't touch the head of the millipede I was handling, watching at least 2 adults in an hour try to enter through the exit door when the word EXIT was in large, bold letters on the door at eye height) I sometimes wonder about the intelligence of upper class here in the big city.


Hillbilly Mom said...

Those EXIT people can read. They just have bad attitudes. They think, "That means for everybody but me. I can go in the exit door. It's just ME. Just this one time."

What is freakin' WRONG with you, gal? Handling a MILLIPEDE! I don't care if it's your job. Save yourself while you can!

I don't like millipedes. Get yourself a big snake instead.

Chickadee said...

LOL. But, but, but I love the millipedes!

Hillbilly Mom said...

You can have my share, if I can only find a way to ship them to you which does not require me to touch them.