Sunday, June 14, 2009

An Insatiable Thirst For Chickens

Farmer H has a thirst for chickens. In fact, he yearns for them. He went to the auction today and bought 10 more chickens. Apparently, I am giving him too much allowance. We need chickens like Farmer H needs more people shooting at him. Granted, Farmer H doubled the size of his chicken pen to the tune of $360, and built them a new, improved coop, hopefully with leftover lumber, and bought an advanced chicken waterer for $28. Now we have 10 more mouths to feed. Have you seen the price of chicken feed at The Family Center lately? It ain't chicken feed! Also at the auction, Farmer H bought another feeder/waterer. This one was only $4. That's because it was used and rusty.

Never mind that we are getting 8 eggs per day. That's almost five dozen eggs per week. We rarely use 6 eggs per week on a regular basis. Frig is piling up with chicken-fruit in 18-egg cartons. We have given some away, but I fear that the acceptors will soon run when they see us coming. We'll be like those zucchini people, and the tomato people at the end of the summer.

Perhaps Farmer H is a secret survivalist. That would explain the uncontrollable buying of chickens, and those rabbits, and all the outbuildings Farmer H can't keep from constructing. He might envision is own enclave, where he will be king, and sit on a throne that he builds for himself, and barter eggs for fresh produce.

I hope there is not a ring of ATF agents sniffing around our perimeter. Farmer H still has a stockpile of fireworks from last year. Then there's the language-learning DVD that The Pony wanted for Christmas. In Arabic.

Missouri might be in the news again.

6 comments:

Margaret LaVonne Hall said...

With a strong cup of coffee and your blog, it gets the day off to a roaring start! I'm sure that you and Farmer H have given those chickens a 'good home' and they are payin' off big time! As for the ATF fellers, ...well...
And, Missouri...I am orginally from the great state...

Hillbilly Mom said...

MLH,
Then you realize that in Missouri, no one can hear you scream.

Stewed Hamm said...

Well, they could hear you scream, if they all weren't too busy screaming themselves.

Word Verification: (and I am not making this up) Babels

Hillbilly Mom said...

Stewareyoufrommissouri?
You seem to know a lot about our culture. As for your veri... truth is stranger than coincidence.

John said...

Let's just say that I've spent a fair amount of time in the State of Misery, and leave it at that. My dead sister has yet to make her escape though, so I get regular infusions of "culture."

Hillbilly Mom said...

John,
Then you must know all about the screaming.