Saturday, March 14, 2009

What's The Deal, Eh?

Perhaps I have mentioned that the Hillbilly family splits its grocery dollars between The Devil's Playground and Save-A-Lot. The Devil is a necessary evil, what with sundry items that are not carried by Save-A-Lot. I can find the specific brands demanded by the male Hillbilly family members at The Devil's, and I buy some fruits and vegetables there. I draw the line at meat. Only in a dire time-intensive emergency will I touch The Devil's meat.

First of all, The Devil fiddles about with his meat. I'm thinking it involves pumping it up with water. When I fry hamburger from The Devil, it is not just grease that runs out. No. It is a mixture of the grease and bubbles. To me, that spells M-O-O-N, water. You know that oil and water don't mix, don't you? So that's honest beef fat and the usurper, water, that makes those floating bubbles in my non-stick pan. That doesn't happen with hamburger from Save-A-Lot.

And another thing...The Devil has cut some kind of deal to make his meat live forever. The expiration dates on that stuff are outrageous. And the meat does not even smell like meat, and it is tasteless when cooked. But I can't figure out who The Devil could cut a deal with. After all, he's The Devil, the #1 Dealmaker in the world.

Which brings us back to Save-A-Lot. I'm not saying I would buy meat at just any Save-A-Lot. Only the one in my neighborhood. Sure, every now and then a woman follows me through the store, strokes my arm, asks if I am married, and tells me I am SO PRETTY. You can't let a little thing like that keep you from good meat. But that issue is neither here nor there this evening. The issue is that on my last four shopping trips, I caught Save-A-Lot selling meat labeled:

A PRODUCT OF CANADA ! ! !

Not that there's anything wrong with that. Canada is our friend. And apparently a better friend than Great Britain, although we've yet to gift them with a 25-DVD set of American classic movies. Note how I put that in red, Canada's color, for that giant maple-leafy flag of theirs. Hey! I watched the Olympics.

My question is: "Why are we importing meat from Canada?" Are there not enough cows and pigs in the United States to supply the Hillbilly family with hamburger and pork steaks? We don't eat THAT much! Where's the domestic animal flesh that we wish to ingest? Are there not enough fields to contain the cows and pigs, what with that land being needed to grow corn for ethanol? Is there not enough corn to feed the cows and pigs, what with the corn being used to make ethanol? Have farmers sold off their herds, unable to afford the proposed $87.50 per beef cow and $20 per hog tax on farts? Are the cattle and hog industries run by powerful unions, so powerful that their workers earn $70 per hour, workers who, if they are laid off, can still receive full pay for two years, which necessitates higher domestic meat prices? What's going on here?

Cry a single garbage Indian tear for the Canadiazation of America.

3 comments:

Living Without Her said...

Now hold on. Don't get me wrong, the DP's meat isnt great, we (sigh yes i work there) actually receive it prepacked and ready to go. Those expiration stickers are applied at the store when the product is placed on the shelf. But your telling me that Save-A-Lot carries better meat? I think your about the ONLY person who would think that!

Hillbilly Mom said...

Living,
Notice I specified that I'm not giving a blanket endorsement to ANY Save-A-Lot. Just the one in my neighborhood. Same for my local Devil's Playground.

My Save-A-Lot has a butcher or two. They hack up their own meat. Except for maybe that Canadian meat. I don't know how they receive it. If your Devil gets the meat already packaged, then The Devil is being ripped off, because that meat is injected with water of some type. At least at my local Playground.

There's another Save-A-Lot near me, and I won't buy meat there. The store looks dirty. And if the part of the store you SEE looks dirty, who knows what is going on back in the meat-packaging area!

Likewise, I won't buy meat at the local Country Mart, because one time I bought some bad cheese there. It was a fancy-schmancy kind of cheese for a Christmas basket for my grandma. The expiration date was almost a year past. That's not good, even for cheese, which is MEANT to age. And Granny wouldn't have been checking dates, thinking her sweet granddaughter was not in the act of poisoning her. I should have been suspicious when I took that cheese back for a refund, and they looked at me like I was crazy. I bet they just put it back in the deli area for somebody else to buy.

I also bought some expired mayonnaise at that Country Mart. They might as well name it Ye Olde Expired Food Shoppe. I don't go there any more. Fool me twice, you know.

Living Without Her said...

All DP's receive their meet the same way. It is boxed with the packaged meat for us to distribute with most stores receiving 5-7 day a week deliveries.

Save-A-Lot is a good chain with the right idea. Low prices for a small spending customer. But you get what you pay for. Like you have stated, if you can find a clean, well maintained store, you lucky.