Fie On You, Alexander Graham Bell!

Good gravy! These students are driving me crazy! No, don't ask. I'm not going to repeat it with the emphasis on a different word each time, like those pretzels that were making Kramer thirsty in the fictional Woody Allen movie in Jerry's neighborhood.

I can not watch 25 sets of hands for six 50-minute periods and still manage to teach the young 'uns physics and biology. I can't. I just can't. If I wanted to be a correctional officer, I would take the Missouri Merit System exam and get on the register. I could, you know. I've been on plenty of registers. That's how I got my unemployment job. Or as we in the system were forced to call it, the Missouri Division of Employment Security.

Nope. Something must be done about the cell phones. I took one away today five minutes before the final bell. Just walked up and demanded it, before the little snake could slither it into his pocket. And he's one of the good kids who never say BOO, and turns in his work, and is polite and on time. But he has a habit. According to the kids, he has had three phones taken away this year.

So I took the phone, and some might have given it back when the bell rang five minutes later, because why bother with the rigmarole (yes, that's proper spelling) of sending it to the office at the end of the day. But it's the principle of the matter. That's the rule in the student handbook. The discipline code. Take it away. Send it to the office. Some teachers sigh and surrender to the losing battle. Not Mrs. Hillbilly Mom. No sirree, Bob!

The kids think they have this violation all figured out. The kid forked over the phone with no argument. Sometimes that will garner favor, and they get it back at the end of the day from the teacher. Not in my classroom. Here's the scam they're trying to run:

It's not my phone.
Well, it's A phone, and I took it.
Do I get my phone back when the bell rings?
Nope. It's going to the office.
But I didn't have it out.
You shouldn't have let your buddy use it.
Well, I wasn't using it.
That's why you're not going to the office.
Will I get it back when the bell rings?
That's up to Mr. Principal.

They must think that they can all play one big round-robin phone-swapping game, and nobody's phone will get taken away, since the person getting caught is not using his own phone. Gimme a break.

I still say we need one of those jammer thingies so the dadblasted phones won't work in the school building. And I'm not even getting into the phone-hiding prank another class pulled today.