Monday, September 14, 2009

Don't That Just Get Your Goat?


Here is the latest addition to the Hillbilly family. That wooden thing in the picture is the goathouse. Farmer H brings home scrap lumber and builds outhouses and sheds and whatever he thinks needs building. Goatrude has already eaten part of her house, according to The Pony.

Not only did Farmer H buy himself a goat...he bought himself a pregnant goat. For $43. Then he stuck her in a little bitty pen. That's just wrong. A goat needs to roam around the grounds, eating tin cans and stuff. That's what they do in cartoons. Maybe Farmer H is afraid Goatrude will eat the sides of his BARn.

Goatrude is stored in the middle pen, between Miss Prissy and Chicky, and Spot the Rabbit. Chicky is unimpressed and keeps hopping through the fence into the big chicken pen, then out the other side into the great unknown where the banished black pants rooster roams. Farmer H must not understand that there is a reason they call it chickenwire. He has housed his hens in dog pen fence.

Farmer H also bought a flock of new chickens at the auction, two of them being hens, and about eight more of them being roosters. He does not see the error of his ways. There is a constant skirmish in the main chicken arena. The #1 son and I told Farmer H that it is cruel to bring home so many roosters to torment Survivor. He can't see to his hens what with constantly fending off the new roosters. Farmer H put one rooster in a cage, and set the cage in Miss Prissy's pen. This evening, he let it out. Chicky did not seem happy with his new stepdaddy. He clucked up a little storm, and Miss Prissy and New Stepdaddy went to scratching dirt at each other's butt. New Stepdaddy is going home with Basementia Buddy on Friday. That's why he can't join in all the other rooster games. #1 and I think Farmer H is trying to be the Michael Vick of the poultry world. We think PETA is going to roll up in here and take him away in handcuffs. To be fair, some of the roosters fly the coop when the heat is on. Then we only have to worry about the dogs eating them.

Farmer H needs to invest in reptiles. Things that hide in burrows, move slowly, and become inactive during the winter. I don't know how he thinks he is going to keep those animals watered in the freezing Missouri winter. Even our heated dog bowl freezes over.

Watch for Farmer H in the news. Of course, it will take some doing to get on the news, competing with a bunch of stupid Missouri flub-ups. How about an upcoming episode of Hoarders?


Chickadee said...

LOL. Oh noes.

I don't know a lot about goats, but I have seen them in front/backyards. They seemed to be ok as long as there was a fence. You're right, she does need to roam and munch. She IS eating for two!

And from what I can recall, I think there should only be ONE rooster among a bunch of hens.

Hillbilly Mom said...

I'm hoping Farmer H will tether Goatrude and keep an eye out for the killer dogs. I agree that 8 roosters are 7 too many.