Saturday, September 5, 2009

But Wait, There's More

Oh, yes. There were other student shenanigans that annoyed me yesterday. Taking my first cell phone of the year was just the cherry on top of that big ol' misbehavin' treat.

Mrs. Hillbilly Mom, do you drink alcohol?
Oh, come on. I bet you do.
I don't. You can ask anybody.
What about Mrs. Crackhead, and Mr. Cool Dude? I bet they do.
We're not here to discuss other people.
I know Mrs. Crackhead smokes, but I'm not sure about drinking.
Yeah, she does. I'm sure.
It's reading time. I'm having trouble concentrating on my book about a killer circus elephant. Perhaps we could save this character assassination extravaganza for your OWN time.
I don't think she drinks. Would anybody who drank use such big words?

Is class over yet?
It's going to be over for YOU if you don't stop whispering and trading shoes with the guy two seats down from you. And besides, there's this newfangled thing called a 'bell' that will let you know when class is over.

If you can't see, you can move to one of the empty seats here in the back, or you can pull your chair over there in the middle.
(two students lay down on the floor directly in front of the TV)
I can see now.
You can't lay there.
Why not? You said we could move.
I said you could move to a different seat. I did not say you could lay down on the floor.
What's wrong with that?
You will get trampled if there's a fire. Get up and sit in a chair.

What time do we get out of here?
It's 7th hour. If you have not learned what time school is over by now, you deserve to sit there and not know how long you have left.

OK, so my comebacks leave a little to be desired. I'm just getting my smarta$$ legs back after the summer. They'll come around. And for the record, I have a bell schedule posted on the bulletin board, located about 5 feet from both of the clockwatchers. AND, we had to evacuate the building twice last week for fire--once for a scheduled drill, and once because a kid in PE tried to steal a basketball, but knocked it into the fire alarm thingy on the gym wall.

Thank the Gummi Mary, the school year is almost over. Friday is the cut-off for 1st Quarter progress report grades.

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