Sunday, July 26, 2009

If You Give A Pig A Placebo

Have you signed up yet as a volunteer guinea pig for those swine flu vaccine trials? What's that? Pigs aren't flying yet? I should have known. I remember how you people ridicule me every year for getting a regular flu shot. Don't pretend that you don't. I have a mind like an elephant. At least that's what HH said he meant, that time he said to me, "You're like an elephant."

Yes, I get a regular flu shot every year. That's because one time I had the actual flu, and I was sick as a dog. They should have called that strain the Dog Flu. I missed a plethora of work, returned too soon, and was trying to teach without a voice. Oh, and I had to sit down every 5 minutes because I was OH SO WEAK. Not to mention that on those days I stayed home, I had no voice, and every time I answered the phone, people hung up on me. So I am a slave to the flu shot. Don't try to tell me that, "One time, my sister's husband's cousin got a flu shot, and the next day, she came down with the flu." Yeah. That could happen, because it takes one to two weeks for the vaccine to take effect. So...you could be exposed to that flu virus within that time and still get the flu. Normal, everyday flu takes from one to five days after exposure to show symptoms. "Oh," you say, "So my sister's husband's cousin could have gotten the flu from the vaccine!" No. Not from the vaccine, which is a dead virus. Perhaps from the flu mist, which is a live, weakened virus. That's why they don't give the mist to babies and old people who are more likely to die of the normal flu.

BUT...swine flu is a bit different. I refuse to type that awkward H1N1 every time. People don't talk that way. So swine it is. Swine flu affects young people more than babies and old people. And it is seven days from exposure to symptoms. So somebody could be walking around for a week, spreading their swiney virus without even knowing they are sick. WASH YOUR HANDS, PEOPLE. I am not looking forward to being trapped in a classroom with 30 living, breathing, germ factories six times a day, five days a week. It makes me want to wear a Michael Jackson mask. At the very least, I am rearranging my room so that those little breathers are not facing me all day long. And everything is going off of my desk. No pens, no pencils, no erasers, no tissues, no papers. They can turn in assignments to the baskets on the back table. Maybe I'll even wear gloves to handle them. Do you think I could requisition one of those HAZMAT suits like in the movie Silkwood?

Just because I am paranoid about catching the swine flu does not mean that I am lining up to take the swine flu shot. Nope. It sounds like a rush job to me. Let other people be the guinea pigs. If they don't kick off after a couple of months, then I might take it. I'm not so much worried about the vaccine as what adjuvants that might be included in the vaccine. You know, to stretch that vaccine so more people can be forced to take it. I sure hope they don't require all school children to get that shot. Because if that happens, I guarantee you that over half of our kids will just stay home from school. "Oh, too bad. I can't come to school because I won't take the flu shot. See you next summer."

Here's the deal. Those volunteer guinea pig people are going to need two shots, given 21 days apart. From all I've read, the vaccine won't be ready until mid-August. So we're already after Labor Day when these guinea pig people get their second dose. Then they wait one to two weeks to see if it is effective. This means it will be near the end of September before they know the results of 1000 guinea pig people. And the wave of swine flu cases is expected to be in October. That doesn't even leave time to vaccinate people and let the vaccine take effect. Or...is that why the biggest wave of swine flu cases is predicted for October?

Besides, HOW ARE THEY GOING TO KNOW IF THE VACCINE IS EFFECTIVE? Are they going to expose the guinea pig people to the swine flu? Who would sign up, knowing that they are going to be stabbed twice with a needle, may have a reaction to the vaccine, and are going to get an unhealthy dose of swine flu on purpose? And who would volunteer their children as guinea pig kids? That is just wrong. Kids don't have a say in it. It's one thing to give them proven vaccines to keep them healthy. It's a whole other kettle of swine to turn them into human petrie dishes. This gig better pay a bundle, so all those unemployed volunteers without health insurance can afford to buy tissues and Tamiflu, just in case that vaccine doesn't work. Oh, and what about a control in this experiment? Are there another 1000 guinea pig people who won't get the swine flu vaccine, but perhaps a placebo, who will be exposed to the swine flu also? I want to know more about this experimental design.

And I don't want no stinkin' swine flu shot!

5 comments:

Chickadee said...

I get a flu shot too every year for the same reason you got one. Jeezus it sucks to be sick with flu.

I actually thought about trying to get involved with that trial, but thought twice because of the unknown. What are they putting in that concoction? And you might get a placebo anyways!

So yeah, I think I'll wait and see how the guinea pigs fair with the pig shot.

DeadpanAnn said...

I don't like vaccines. I don't like giving my child vaccines. I'm not one of those people who insists on insisting that vaccines cause autism even though they've proven that to be untrue. I just think kids are required to have too many-- wayyy too many. There's a chickenpox vaccine now. Chickenpox. WTH? When I was a kid, getting chickenpox was like a rite of passage! It wasn't if, but WHEN. Some kids had super bad cases of it, but most of us just scratched for a few weeks and have a few of those perfectly round scars as reminders. I just don't think the chickenpox vaccine is worth it, personally. In fact, my nephew was vaccinated and still got the chickenpox. What's the point?

And now they want to vaccinate girls against hpv to prevent cervical cancer? Why? I mean, okay, getting hpv is super easy to do, not that I would know from experience. And getting cervical cancer would suck. But about 4,000 women die of cervical cancer a year. Many of those deaths could've been prevented if they'd been getting screened yearly, since it is a very treatable cancer. So instead of just reminding everyone to get that annual exam, we're gonna inject every single American girl with yet another vaccine.

http://www.cancer.org/docroot/CRI/content/CRI_2_2_1X_How_many_women_get_cancer_of_the_cervix_8.asp

It's not right for vaccines-- especially ones like THIS-- to be required in order for kids to go to public school. I am increasingly concerned about the government's motivation for...well, everything. What might really be in those vaccines, for all we know?

Sorry. I'm having a tin-foil-hat episode here lately.

Chickadee said...

I agree with you DeadPan Ann on the chicken pox and hpv vaccines.

I got the chicken pox when I was little, as did my sister. It sucks but most kids do get through it...but as you said, there are those kids who get severely ill too, but how many kids are getting severely ill off the vaccine? Do you hear about those kids? And what of the longterm effects of all these vaccines?

And the HPV thing...come on. I'm sorry, but that's the dumbest vaccine I've ever heard of.

Hillbilly Mom said...

Chick and Miss Ann,
My kids had the regular chicken pox, since the vaccine had just come out, and their doctor said it wasn't known yet how effective it would be. One less shot for my young 'uns.

DeadpanAnn said...

When I first heard about the chickenpox vaccine, I said I wouldn't let Charlie get that one. But Mississippi doesn't allow exemptions from vaccines unless you've had a severe reaction from one in the past and the doctor has reason to believe a vaccine may hurt you. So he wouldn't be able to go to school or anything just because he didn't take the chickenpox vaccine. They're literally holding back the right to an education, among other things, to force me to give him a drug that I don't believe he needs. It's crap.