Monday, July 13, 2009

Daddy Doesn't Live Here Any More

Jon Gosselin is a selfish piece of crap.

Why doesn't he just be honest with his eight kids and sit them down and explain: "Daddy loves himself more than he loves you. He doesn't want to be here with you and take care of you every day like a good daddy. Daddy wants to have his own life where he can screw girls ten years younger than himself and live in his own apartment where your sticky hands and squealing voices don't annoy him. Daddy does not care about being here for you when you need him. Daddy will come on the weekends as long as Mommy is out of the house. Mommy can see through Daddy's bullcrap, and calls him on his nonsense, and Daddy can't deal with that. Daddy will bring you a NEW mommy. NewMommy will play with you when Daddy doesn't want to, and help Daddy and the servants take care of you, because it is just too much for Daddy. Daddy needs to relive his college days of irresponsible drinking and screwing. Daddy is a party dude, and you are in the way."

"Young girls love Daddy, because he is cool. It has nothing to do with Daddy being a celebrity with freebies and a ton of money stashed away because of our TV show. Daddy can't decide right now on which NewMommy to bring you. Maybe it will be that 23 year old school teacher slut who lives at home with her parents and that brother who went on TV describing the screwing sounds we make in her bedroom. Or maybe it will be that 22 year old pothead daughter of Mommy's plastic surgeon that I took to the French Riviera. The daughter, not the surgeon. I'm sure the surgeon could take himself to the French Riviera. One thing is for certain, though. Daddy is not taking all of you kids to the French Riviera. That would be a freakin' nightmare! Daddy can't be bothered counting to eight at the end of the day to see if any of you got lost. So forget about any trips like we used to take with Mommy. For sure we're not going to visit those Duggars down in Arkansas. Jesus! What in the world is that man Jim Bob thinking? He has a baby every time he looks at his wife. Daddy can't believe Jim Bob hasn't managed to escape yet. But getting back to the trip thing... Daddy's new red sports car only has two seats, which is just room for Daddy and NewMommy, whoever she is that week."

"The first NewMommy might just be the Pothead. It's fate. If Mommy didn't have the free plastic surgery because of our TV show, Daddy would never have met Pothead. God sure works in mysterious ways. Mommy is a shrew, and henpecked Daddy for too many years. It's not Daddy's fault that he's moving out. It's Mommy's fault. Just read all the comments on the internet. Mommy is the OCD devil. She had no right to demand that Daddy take good care of his kids. Especially in front of the TV cameras where everyone could see what a wastewad Daddy is. Now Mommy is reaping what she sowed. Good riddance to bad trash."

"And speaking of bad trash, Daddy has to leave now to pick up one of the NewMommies. See you all next weekend."


Seriously. People rag on Kate Gosselin, but Jon is the one who wants these pieces of crap around his kids. C'mon. Don't pretend you won't watch. Never waste a good train wreck.

Maybe Jon is totally innocent. Maybe just needs a discreet pot dealer instead of these two losers.

Nawww! He's a selfish, lowlife, cheater!


DeadpanAnn said...

Yeah, he's being really selfish/childish. I think that is what divorce amounts of 99% of the time, at least when kids are involved. If I'd wanted to leave before having kids, that would've been one thing. (Still would've been selfish, but at least it wouldn't have hurt any kids.) I can't imagine taking Charlie away from his daddy so that I could have some more freedom. It would be selfish. There is no other word for it. Selfish selfish selfish.

Melani said...

Complete insanity. I love that their previous book says that they don't make any decision without seeking God's guidance first. I'm quite sure that all of the decisions of the last year were not done by seeking God's will.

I want to stop watching but can't seem to help myself. Trainwreck and all that...

Hillbilly Mom said...

Miss Ann,
Kate should hammer out the custody papers to specify that any NewMommy staying overnight will have to sleep in one of the 'crooked houses'.

Jon probably prayed that he wouldn't get caught cheating. And that the skank's brother couldn't hear through the wall.