Saturday, November 22, 2008

Rude Egg China Shop Scout Jobs

People piss me off. Yesterday, I took an orange package card to the Post Office. Upon arrival, the counter was bare. Both stations were open, so I stood at the closest one. I waited. I could hear people talking in the back, so I did not want to seem pushy by ringing the bell for service. I figured one would appear at any moment, what with a guy writing on something at a side counter, and another holding the door open for me as he was on his way out. A woman came in and, instead of standing behind me like a polite citizen would do, barged up to the counter at the other station. We both waited. A female U.S. Postal worker came out of the back room. She went to the farther station and waited on the line-jumper. Did that woman politely say, "Oh, she was here first," and point to me? NO! She took her waiting-on like she had earned it. I looked at her and huffed. What a bold fresh piece of shi--humanity she was! At least she had the sense to act guilty. On the way out, she tried to hold the door for me. I showed HER! I put my nose in the air and huffed on by. Like she had to expend any extra effort, anyway, what with the door being one of those push-button handicap thingies that open wide for a few minutes on their own.

HH got the bright idea to buy his eggless chickens some 'laying mash' instead of the stuff he has been feeding them. I'm no chicken-breeder, but I would assume that 'laying mash' is what you want to feed chickens that you expect to get eggs from.

Little does Mabel know that the slow boat from China arrived at the Mansion around 5:30 on Thursday evening. Little does Mabel know that her belated birthday gift is resting comfortably on the bottom shelf of Mrs. Hillbilly Mom's classroom cabinet, a cabinet that is not, in the former words of Mabel... LOCKED UP! Mabel knows so little because Mabel was AWOL from Newmentia on Friday.

I saw a tip on MSNBC that you can get on-line discount codes at retailmenot.com. I haven't checked it out yet, so if your greed gets you in a bind, don't blame me.

The Boy Scout who visited me earlier in the week arrived promptly at 9:00 a.m. to pick up the bag of food I hung on the door knob. I hope some family enjoys a Thanksgiving meal of a can of green beans, a can of potatoes, a can of baked beans, a can of Vienna sausages, a can of deviled ham, and a box of instant sour cream and chives mashed potatoes.

That Dirty Jobs guy was netting tiny fish out of creeks this morning, and transplanting them to abandoned swimming pools in New Orleans so they could eat up mosquito larvae. The question was raised as to why they didn't just pump out the nasty water, and it was answered that it was expensive, and the pools would just fill up again with rain and humidity. Which was a new one on me, humidity filling up swimming pools. Anyway, I can't help but think a few years into the future, of those dark, nasty pools full of big stinking dead fish, what with the fish population explosion resulting in a lack of food and oxygen.

2 comments:

Jennifer said...

Yeah those pot bellies would have made some real good eating.

Your Day of the Pigs sounds like something my DH or Father would do.

Hillbilly Mom said...

Jenn,
In one of my favorite (but most embarrassing) movies, Heartbreakers, with Sigourney Weaver, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Gene Hackman, Ray Liotta, and Jason Lee...there is a line about: There is only ONE man.

Or as my mom told me the day before I got married, "Honey, they're all alike."