Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Help Me, Dick Halloran!

Lunatic H is driving me crazy. Here it is, 9 degrees right now, and he's fiddling with the thermostat. "With it being so cold, I don't want the furnace running all the time." OK. When is a good time for the furnace to run, Lunatic H. Einstein? Oh...I don't know...maybe...IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FREAKIN' GLOBAL WARMING SUMMER?

Lunatic H wants to set the thermostat on 'Emergency Heat'. To me, that is what you do in an emergency. But then, I am what he considers a 'crazy b*tch'. Pottymouth H thinks he needs to reset that thermostat tonight. I think not. The last thing I need is for the furnace to quit working for the next week or so. Because I guarandarntee you that nobody is coming out to fix it within that time. And never mind that Lunatic H does that kind of work for a living. Somehow, it just doesn't apply to home life.

I am really apprehensive, because I caught Lunatic H muttering with the little thermostat door thingy flipped open, "Now let's see. How is it you set this? I need to get a light so I can see better." It's right on the living room wall. What's not to see? Oh. Maybe it is because of Lunatic H's wise placement of our lighting fixtures. Light that is nothing but a nuisance, as it can't be used to read by because it is too dim, what with Lunatic H's frugal 25-watt bulbs, or the recessed lighting that beams down like a spotlight (that's what is says on the package of bulbs: spotlight) directly into your eyes, making it impossible to read unless you sit like a Quaker on a straightbacked chair directly under the light. No offense to Quakers. I'm sure they make lovely chairs and have good posture.

I don't see this cold snap ending well for the Mansion and its residents. The Shining, anyone?


Kathy's Klothesline said...

I am sorry. I could offer the services of love of my life. I can guarantee that it would require at least three trips to a Lowes, Home Depot, or other purveyor of the items needed to really fix this thermostat up. Oh, and it would NOT be done in a timely fashion.

Are they brothers?

Hillbilly Mom said...

Thank you OH SO MUCH for that kind offer, but I must decline. Home Improvement H is off to Lowes this evening on a very important mission. See the Jan. 6 post for details.

My blog buddy Redneck Diva used to think we shared a husband. It is possible that our husband has a long-lost brother.