Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Third Quarter Doldrums

We are deep in the 3rd Quarter Doldrums, with no end in sight. Minor irritations become hot, swollen, festering pustules during the 3QD.

Tuesday, the Academic Team won by a score of 97 to 26. The #1 son scored 53 points. Today, a teammate told him he was a buzzer-hogging guesser who got over half of his answers wrong. Stomping these sour grapes, one of the coaches said, "Well, that's kind of the object of the game, to buzz in first, and give an answer." The #1 son said, "So you're telling me I answered over 106 questions?" Not bloody likely.

This morning I arrived on parking lot duty a whole 3 minutes early, and was greeted with the sight of a little red car parked on the sidewalk by the locker room doors, and a van parked lengthwise in the middle row, taking up 6 parking spaces. I called for backup. My sources told me who the red car belonged to, and that the perpetrator had Cadet Teaching first hour. That does not excuse a sidewalk-parker in my book. Nobody knew the vanner until the principal came out and asked some upperclassmen who sang like canaries. Vanner took his own sweet time in responding, and gave the excuse, "Well, people park in my space." That didn't fly. Neither did the Cadet, in an attempt to drive away to another building. He was flagged down and given an earful.

1st Hour gave me two gum-wrapper throwers who refused to pick up their projectiles until I promised to write up a discipline referral.

2nd Hour gave me a backwards pencil-piece thrower who refused to turn around in his seat after three requests until I promised him a trip to the office.

3rd Hour gave me a tardy loud-mouthed card player who, upon correcting, answered back, "Yes, Dad." Also, 3 students making crowns out of the colored paper provided from the bank account of one Mrs. Hillbilly Mom, to the tune of 6 packs of paper at over $5 each. They declared it was 'scraps' left over from their projects, but I think a scrap that is big enough to make a crown is big enough to put back for someone else to use.

4th Hour gave me a boy and girl who have been told previously that they may not sit next to each other, as they were pushing the lovebird limit. When told to move apart, the girl demanded to know WHY they were being separated, since they are no longer an item, because they found out they are cousins.

5th Hour gave me 3 immature punks who mouth each other constantly, one of whom took offense to being told to sit in his proper seat, and another who did not like being commanded to stop asking the first one about whether he liked 'cucumbers'. Even his buddy tried to shut him up, but the only thing that worked was the sight of the discipline referral I pulled out of the drawer, only two weeks after his visit to Detentia from my last write-up. The comment, "You don't want to do that" followed by his whispered "or "I'll chop your face off" did not help his case. Nor did his correction that what he really said was, "I'll chop your fingers off."

6th Hour gave me 50 minutes of solitude, unless you count the custodian's 10 minute conversation or the students who asked if I wanted to order lunch from The Lunch Lady, or the two students who came back from surveying various teachers for their project, or the trip to turn in an important paper to Mrs. I'mNotACook.

7th Hour gave me two boys working away on their project until I found their display board in the pile with NOTHING on it but their names in black marker. When I asked whose board they were using, the one who had glued 5 things on it during 3rd hour declared that I must have switched the boards. Yes. I found time to pry their stuff off their own board, and took another student's blank board and glued their stuff on it. I then brought this incident to their attention to allow them to make false accusations against me.

Don't hate me because I have summers off...hate me because I have the patience of Mother Teresa. And look what it got her!


DeadpanAnn said...

I notice that your paragraphs got longer with each period. Everything always starts coming unglued after lunch, in my experience.

You could've really gotten the face chopper boy in some hot water over that. You DO have the patience of a dead nun.

Hillbilly Mom said...

Miss Ann,
You got THAT right! Afternoons are not my friend.

This is virtually the only class where I have to actually send kids to the office. I have sent them for having a cell phone out listening to music, threatening to throw a pencil at another student and refusing to give it to me, spitwads, walking out of the classroom, and insubordination.

I wonder if it is because these are juniors instead of freshman. I'M certainly not afraid of them. In fact, THEY should know better. They need the book thrown at them.

Only two have received detention, the insubordination and one who said he didn't bring his phone and I let him go to the bathroom and he called someone to pick him up. The rest have been patted on the butt and sent back to raise my blood pressure another notch. So I'm waiting until blood spills before I resort to sending another one. And I will write out that discipline notice with the last twitches of my hacked off fingers, by cracky!