Thursday, February 26, 2009

Boulevard Of Stifled Screams

I walk this empty street, on the Boulevard of Stifled Screams.

It's that time of year. No matter how much a teacher loves the job, the middle of 3rd Quarter will grab him and yank knot in his tail. In the public schools, no one can hear you scream.

Things you should not hear in a classroom:

Can I make that cow noise again?

You took his seat. Get up and move to another desk.
(Umm...maybe because you took his seat?)

Why did you move across the room to hear the presentation when it was right in front of you?
I don't know.
Why are you hassling them about moving?
Well, Miss Take Bob's Notebook And Run Across The Room And Hold It Out The Window While I Was In The Hall, what business is it of yours? Because I certainly wouldn't want to draw attention to myself if I were you.
I didn't run.

Sneaky is drinking water!
Why did you tell? I'm going to bust your head for that.
The better question is 'Why can't you take responsibility for your own actions?' You know that is against the rules. If you hadn't done it, he wouldn't be telling.
I am sick.
Oh, that makes it all right? Everybody bring a beverage. Better yet, everybody bring a steak dinner. It's only school. Why should you be inconvenienced?

I know somebody who texts in your class.
I don't really care. I would like to think that I have better things to do than patrol the classroom every hour to monitor something that the school should outlaw anyway.
What do you mean?
You don't need a cell phone in the classroom. My generation survived without them. I can't have mine during class.
That's stupid. We need them. We're not bothering anybody.

You need to lay off about the texting. I got caught ONE TIME, and you won't let it go.
That's because you were caught by the principal when he entered my class while you were sitting in the front row right by the door. I'm surprised you don't just stand in front of the office and hold it up to the camera while you text. You do the crime, be prepared to hear about it for the next four years. YOU gave me the opportunity.

I think it's really unfair that some people had to give their presentation on the first day, and others don't have to do it until Friday.
I drew numbers at random. You and three other people came up on Monday. And if you remember right, I moved it back until Tuesday to begin the presentations.
Well, I think that sucks, because its not fair that some people have until Friday.
Would that be because yours is two days late?
That's not MY fault. I told you my printer broke. I can't print out the information. You can talk to my dad about how poor we are.
That won't be necessary. I see that your hand is not broke. Did you ever think of writing out your information and putting it on your board? (Never mind the five days we spent in the computer lab so you could print).
How do I know what it is? It's on my computer.
Oh, is your computer broken as well as your printer?
No, but it's at home.
Surely the information you typed into your computer came out of your head. How about putting it in writing out of your head?
We can DO that?

Please make it stop. Soon.

No comments: