Saturday, March 13, 2010

Did You Know...

Did you know...

If your Smokey the Bear hot-air balloon gets caught in a wind shear and wraps around a 600-odd-foot communications tower and you decide that instead of falling to your death you should climb out of the basket of ol' Smokey and down the ladder of the tower, you will be killed when you touch the ground? It's true! I saw it on TV this morning. Due to the tremendous buildup of static electricity, you will be electrocuted upon ground contact. Even if you jump off the tower and onto the ground! You have to be removed by a cherry-picker dealybob, because it is grounded by its tires.

Silver Ameraucana chicks look like little winged, feathered chipmunks? It's true. That's the kind of pullets Chicken H bought last weekend. He doesn't know it yet, but I do. I googled those little boogers and found pictures that look just like our six chicks. Of course, ours are much cuter. Not that I am growing fond of these fowl small fry or anything.

Bamboo grows like a big ol' tree, with branches and everything, and is not just a tall stem like Bear Grylls would lead you to believe when he hacks open a woody section to quench his thirst with his big knife that can also be used for stabbing mini-alligators to skin and fillet them once you have swung them by the tail and whacked them to death with head-to-tree trunk contact? It's true. We looked it up at school. Though some species of bamboo are mostly trunk, like the Bear Grylls natural water fountain type.

Leonardo da Vinci painted a battle scene, The Battle of Anghiari, on a wall in the Hall of 500 that's said to be his best work, putting the Mona Lisa to shame, but it was painted over by another dude some fifty years later, and now researchers are hot on the trail of this masterpiece, on the supposition that the other dude tried to hide it and left a clue as cerca trova on a green flag in the midst of his battle scene, The Battle of Marciano, that includes a guy in the center foreground who appears to be pantsless? It's true. We read about it in Science World magazine.

You can put that in your pipe and smoke it, but keep your nasty third-hand smoke away from ME, because I don't want to end up with mutated curly wings and freaky eye color like drosophila melanogaster, the common fruit fly, who accrues genetic damage from just a couple days of exposure to third-hand smoke? It's true. Another Science World lesson duly noted. And if I kick off from sucking in your third-hand smoke, don't let my body lie in the desert for several days, because the carnivores will eat my flesh, since I have not consumed methamphetamines to keep them from gnawing on my tasty remains. Again, thank Science World for that image. A teen scientist researched this subject, though methinks that without a momma who works with the medical examiners office, he could not have succeeded in his quest. Because you can't really force-feed people meth until they die, and then leave their bodies in the desert until scavengers partially consume them just so you can prove a hypothesis.

Just sayin'.

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