ButtMunch, Inc.

I am having internet issues. My provider is a buttmunch. I have had the same provider for 10 years. Seriously. It was a little local company, then it got bought out by a bigger company, and for the last 2-3 years it has been ButtMunch, Inc.

They first made me mad when they took away my old email system. Oh, I could still use the same email address, but I had to go through a big honkin' rigamarole to open it. It's as bad as that monstrosity we use at school. Dial-up is not their friend.

The second time they made me mad was when they did not email my statement. It is done quarterly, on the 16th of the month. I was watching and watching and it never came. Don't think I had the address or phone number. That stuff was conveniently left off their website. The only number I had was for things gone wrong. Which I had written down, because things often went wrong, and you can't look it up when you don't have internet. But hey, I'm a loyal customer. Though I did get a bit perturbed when they didn't bill me, and then cut off my service, which made me call the things gone wrong number, where a dude said I hadn't paid my bill, so I said, "I'm paying it now, here's my credit card number, and he hooked me right back up.

But then they went and made me mad again the next quarter, because they automatically deducted my payment from my credit card, which made me again call the things gone wrong number, who gave me the regular number, which only worked M-F from 8:00 to 5:00, where I called after the weekend and read them the riot act and told them in no uncertain terms to remove my credit card number, that I was to be billed by email, which I had emphasized at the time I gave that credit card number for one time only, and that I would pay by check IF I WAS BILLED.

The fourth time they made me mad was a week ago, when they sent me an email that I owed a late fee of $5.00, which I paid, because in theory I WAS late, but let's review the situation. They never say how long you have to pay it. My trash billing is done quarterly, and Trashy says within 30 days. With it being summer, and me running the #1 son to and fro, and me hating my email so much that I avoid it like the plague, resulting in 500-600 emails that I have to sort through every couple of weeks, time got away from me, and I didn't get in there to see the email bill. Once I saw it, and it jogged my memory, it was already June 29. That very afternoon, I wrote out the check and drove it to town to the post office. I figured that I was still within 30 days. If it's good enough for Waste Management, it's good enough for ButtMunch, Inc. But no. They didn't process that check until July 7, which didn't really matter anyway, since apparently they wanted that check within 10 days of the email bill. Who knew? Maybe they should put a due date on those things. But that's not even the worst part.

Monday, I got the letter that really stuck in my craw. PEOPLE PISS ME OFF! This letter said that since I had been using more than 150 hours of dial-up per month over the last four months, they were going to increase my rate from $50 every three months to $39.95 PER MONTH! For crappy dial-up, people! That is highway robbery. Never mind that my plan has been for UNLIMITED dial-up for the last 10 years, and no mention was ever made that I was using too much. Let's remember that over the months of April, May, June, and July, I was in school every weekday for two of those months. And, this was the Summer of School, so The Pony and I took #1 to school every day, and stayed there for the day, to watch his open gym from 2:00 to 4:00. Then he had a basketball camp for another week so we were not at home throughout the day. So you tell me how I have been on this crappy dial-up more this summer than all my other summers. Yeah. Can't do it, can you?

My theory is that ButtMunch, Inc. was fishing for a way to raise the rates on us old-timers who have been paying the same price for 10 years. I figure that anybody who is late with a payment gets THE LETTER. I have no other explanation. I've used way over 150 hours per month during past summers. No mention was ever made of me using too much of my unlimited dial-up THEN.

Ever since Friday, the day that hateful letter was dated, my internet has been crappier. It cuts off every 30 seconds to five minutes.

I am shopping for a new internet provider.