Sunday Smorgasbord 7/5/09

Big Brother 11 starts on Thursday night. Aren't you excited? What's that I hear? (crickets)

Aren't we lucky to have Joe Biden as Vice President instead of someone who is a loose cannon?

You DO know that this reported unemployment rate of 9.5% is based on unemployment claims, don't you? It doesn't account for people who do not qualify for unemployment, or those whose claims and federal extensions have run out but they still don't have jobs, or those people who didn't file for unemployment but just started job searching on their own. Just sayin'... I used to work for the unemployment office. The active claims are just the tip of the iceberg. Just like the number of new claims filed is a bit misleading. Some union workers file on their two-week summer layoff so they can get their union money, even though they will be going back to work. You have to know what the stats represent. The unemployment rate is much higher than the reported rate, due to those not on the books.

The Pony almost got his own concussion last night when my mom closed the hatch of her Explorer on his head. Poor little Pony had a knot the size of a guinea egg, to hear him tell it in his chicken English.

Concussion Boy reported that he was headache free yesterday. Then I caught him bending over to set off fireworks, and Bomb Detonator H made him carry metal chairs from the porch to the driveway, and he stayed up until midnight. Guess who has a headache today?

Grillmaster H outdid himself with some succulent Save-A-Lot ribeyes last night. Today we are having pork steaks, which I read somewhere is a midwestern phenomenon.

My mom came up with a newfangled mosquito spray. I'm guessing one of her cronies sent it to her in an email. She arrived with a spray bottle full of mouthwash, and spritzed it all around our perimeter. She said it was not supposed to get ON us, just around us. I must have swatted 6 or 8 mosquitoes crawling on me. When the #1 son whacked one, I whispered, "How's Grandma's remedy working for you?" And he said, "Not at all." She did confess that her magical elixir was supposed to be Scope mouthwash, but she brought the generic. The Pony held his nose every time she sprayed it, and said, "Minty." She swore that it worked for my sister on a camping trip, but then again, she had real brand-name Scope, not the $1 a gallon generic. Add Ye Olde Cheap Generic Shoppe to my mom's list of favorite stores.

Bomb Detonator H had a close call when a fountain tipped over and spouted its sparky goodness right past his Scout full of fireworks. Every year he parks it 10 feet from his staging area. Every year, there is a close call. Some people are incapable of learning from their mistakes. Thank the Gummi Mary that we had rain off and on all day, and that the neighbor's field and our fence row of trees were nice and damp.