Ain't No Party Like A Swine Flu Party

Today's public safety advice: Do Not Hold a Swine Flu Party. No matter how much you want your young 'un to contract the swine flu at your convenience, do not invite yourself to visit those who are currently suffering from this affliction. In addition, do not host a swine flu party if you are one of the 'lucky ones' to succumb to the porcine plague. Swine flu is nothing to sneeze at.

When The Pony was just shy of a year old, there was a smattering of Chicken Pox at his daycare. This was when the Chicken Pox vaccine had just come out, and his doctor had advised that he COULD get the shot at a cost of $100, or I could take him to the county health center to get it for free, or if my job was flexible, I could let nature take its course and see if he came down with the Chicken Pox when he was good and ready. He further added that there was not enough data yet to prove the the vaccine would definitely make The Pony immune from the Chicken Pox for life. So I opted to let nature take its course.

Secret Spy H was out of the country for his job, lounging about in Wales, soaking up the cuisine and wallowing in a tiny bathtub. My mom came out to stay with me, what with the Mansion being in the middle of nowhere, and me having a preschooler and an infant to deal with. Upon picking up The Pony from daycare, I noticed a few spots on his arms. The daycare lady and I crossed our fingers for Chicken Pox. It had been just long enough for the exposure to take. I showed my mom, who was also pleased, and I tucked him into bed that night with visions of pox dancing in my head.

Around midnight I woke up. Every time that happens, I go check on the kids. That's because I figure there was some reason that I woke up. And I'm obsessive compulsive. I went to check on The Pony, and I didn't recognize him. Oh, he was in his bed all right. But his face was swollen until he was unrecognizable. Seems those pox were not Chicken Pox at all, but a manifestation of his newly-acquired amoxicillin allergy. I woke my mom, who woke the #1 son, and we all hauled our butts to the new local emergency facility. It was only 10 minutes and five miles away. They took The Pony right in, asked about his recent medication history, which was that sweet, sweet, pink amoxicillin for an ear infection, and got to work. That meant that they spent about 30 minutes trying to start an IV in my bawling, bloated, baby boy. I don't fault the nurses. They were not shy about complaining how the doctors never listen to them, that they can't get an IV going in these little ones, and an injection would work just as well, and it could have been done all ready. And that's the route they finally took, after the foreign doctor saw that his method was not working. After about 4 hours cooling our heels in the new facility, The Pony was good to go. He got the Chicken Pox later that school year, from his brother, who brought it home from preschool. So much for the then-new Chicken Pox vaccine.

So the lesson here is: Be careful what you wish for. What you think is going to be a mild case of swine flu might turn out to be something you don't want, and you may not know it until it's too late, unless you are a light sleeper. Or something like that.