WANTED

As we were leaving to go pick up my summer paychecks, The Pony dropped a bomb on me. "Oh, did you go in the bathroom downstairs? Because I saw a bug by the door. It was like a cricket, red and black. Or maybe it was a large crawdad. I came up to tell you, but you were in the shower. Then I forgot."

Um...what kind of freakish mutant bug could I have that can be described as a large crawdad? Because in my creek-wading experience, crawdads are larger than any bugs I've seen in my house. Maybe a praying mantis could beat out a crawdad, but mostly, bugs are smaller. I tried to get more information straight from The Pony's mouth.

How long was it?
Not as long as that millipede.
Was it a spider?
No. Not enough legs.
Was it a scorpion?
I don't know. What's a scorpion look like?
It has a stinger that may be coiled in a curve.
No.
How tall was it?
Taller than the millipede. About twice as tall.
And how long?
Not as long as it was tall.
How was it red and black. Red head, black legs? What?
It had stripes around it. But I only saw one side.
How tall was it?
(The Pony held his thumb and finger at around 2 inches).
And how long?
About the same.
Was it going into the bathroom or coming out?
It was headed out the door.
Did it have a fat body, like a ladybug?
No. It was like a cricket.
Do you know what a cricket looks like?
Kinda.
Did it have hairy legs?
I couldn't tell.
Crickets have hairy legs.
Maybe it was like a grasshopper. I know what a grasshopper looks like.
Did it jump?
No. It didn't move.
Did it have a face?
No. It had antennae.
Was it a wasp?
No.

I can't imagine what that was. The color issue is stumping me. And a 2-inch tall bug is not something I want walking around under my feet. Here's a description for the APB.

Be on the lookout for the following fugitive:

2 inches tall
2 inches long
red and black striped
six legs
antennae

The suspect was last seen in the vicinity of Hillbilly Mom's NASCAR bathroom. Suspect is not known to be armed with a stinger.