Taxes Are Done, Man!

Don't be so surprised. I am not one of those people who try to file my taxes on January 1. Since I do not get a humongous refund due to my Child Tax Credits and Additional Child Tax Credits and Childcare Costs from my 14 children, or deductions of Missouri rent, or receive Earned Income Credit on income that was given to me by working people who are only allowed to PAY taxes and not get credits for not working enough...I am in no hurry to file.

All that's left is the making of copies for my records, assembling my forms in the proper order, slapping a stamp or two on the envelopes, and depositing them in a U.S. Postal Service receptacle. Don't accuse me of living in the Dark Ages because I don't file electronically. I am not going to pay for tax software. I refuse to spend money to file my taxes. The stamps are bad enough. Oh, but if I made less money, I could e-file for free. Or if I paid a tax preparation service, I could e-file for free. No thanks. One year, I did manage somehow to file online for free. But I still had to send in some forms. It was not worth it, what with dial-up out here in the hinterlands.

Besides, I don't want to make a mistake like cruel-mouthed Treasury Secretary Timmy Geithner, due to my tax software. If a financial genius like Timmy Geithner can make a mistake on his taxes and owe an extra $34,000, I sure don't want to risk it. Though unlike Timmy Geithner, I KNOW I can't deduct child care expenses--my kids don't even GO to overnight camp.

And don't tell me I'm giving the government an interest-free loan by letting them hold onto my meager refund for an extra couple of months. It makes no matter to me. Out of sight, out of mind. My part of this refund amounts to about $13 per week, which besides being unlucky, would be just money to be spent on lottery tickets. With my luck, I would win another $1000 on a scratcher ticket. That has to be reported, you know. Though if you itemize, you can deduct gambling winnings to the tune of gambling losses. And I guarantee I lost more than I won, so I came out Even Steven on this one, even if it's not a dollar for dollar tax break. Uncle Sam still got a goodly portion of my un-earned $1000.

I suppose I'll package up my taxes next weekend. There's no rush, really. I'll give them time to simmer and go over them one more time. I found an $8 error today, in calculating the gouging of my deduction formerly known as Child Tax Credit. Seems I didn't read the fine print and round a number to the next thousand. That's what happens when you forget your bifocals at school.

I wonder how that would sound at my Senate Confirmation Hearing?