If you plan to eat an orange in my class, you should know that Mrs. Hillbilly Mom has a sense of smell, and even though she thinks she doesn't breathe through her nose at school, that orange smell gets in. Oh, and when you set your ginormous purse on the desk and hide behind it, Mrs. Hillbilly Mom is on full alert, and will watch you like a hawk for texting, which will enable her to SEE you take a bite of that orange. The explanation, "I peeled it, but I was going to put it in my purse," will not convince Mrs. Hillbilly Mom of your innocence. Contrary to popular belief, there ARE rules in Mrs. Hillbilly Mom's classroom, or else it would be one big ol' buffet from 1st hour to 7th hour, a buffet in which somebody would have the nerve to complain that there was no wi-fi.
Phil Keogh, the host of The Amazing Race, is a good sport. To explain a task in which one member of each team had to run 1.4 miles through Siberia in winter in his/her underwear, Phil posed momentarily in HIS underwear. He's got nothing to be ashamed of. Kudos, Phil.
I didn't make it to the #1 son's Honor's Choir thingy Monday night, seeing as how I vomited about 15 minutes before time to leave. That, and my hacking cough, led me to believe I would be Hillbilly non grata at the concert. And I didn't even have any sweet, sweet Histinex to sooth me. That Cheratussin is a pale substitute, and does not deter my cough like sweet, sweet Histinex. Cheratussin has been languishing in the hardly-ever-used-cup cupboard since December 3. After trying it again, I know why.
The giant tomato tree on the infomercial looks like something I would enjoy.
We are in 4th Quarter, on the downhill slide to summer vacation. Graduation is set for May 22. And that, my friends, puts me one year closer to retirement. Not that I'm all that close. One can only dream.
What this school needs is one of those signal-jamming phone thingies. That way, the kids can't text or call, and since we can see those ear thingies in case they try listening to music, their phones will be useless to them during the school day. Another victory for The Man!
It is not really polite to bring your mother, father, and two brothers with you to the school Science Fair, and have them sit in front of your project with you, and eat 50% of the cookies provided as snacks for participants, and drink one of the four gallons of punch. A Science Fair is not a buffet. Next year, there will be rules concerning who is allowed in the judging area. Boyfriends are also expendable.
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2 comments:
I'll bet the texting thing drives you nuts. I've been seeing teens more and more texting in public. It's annoying.
And I think it's funny how kids think they can get away with eating something really smelly, like an orange.
Chick,
Kids have no common sense. That's how the teachers can outsmart them. As far as the texting...we are headed for a generation with stooped shoulders and nearsightedness, what with all their hunched-over squinting at those phones. Let's throw in carpal tunnel syndrome as well.
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