Sunday, April 4, 2010

This Coif Is Made For Walkin'

I wish I had a lovely Easter tale to tell. But I don't. Instead, I have this:

Last night, as we were finishing up dyeing the Easter eggs, Crime Solver H could barely tear himself away from America's Most Wanted. Some serial killer had left a trail of victims, and their pictures flashed on the screen. Not gory pictures, just pictures of the women. They all had long black hair, parted in the middle. I glanced at them and exclaimed, "They all look alike!" You know, meaning that the serial killer had a certain type that he liked to murder. The narrator had mentioned that most of the victims were prostitutes. Again, the killer had a type, just like Jame Gumb who fought Clarice in that dark basement had a type, his happening to be full-figured gals with enough skin to make himself a woman-suit.

Crime Solver H snorted at my proclamation that all of this killer's victims looked alike. He added, "Of course they look alike. They all had the same profession. Streetwalker." Aside from Crime Solver H being rooted in the 60's with a Sheriff Andy Taylor euphemism for prostitutes, the poor misguided hillbilly seems to think that prostitutes have a uniform. Like a union painter or some regulated profession. And that uniform is long black hair parted in the middle.

The #1 son and I tried to explain that there is such a thing as a blond or red-head prostitute, with a variety of coiffures. Crime Solver H became downright surly. "Fine. Make fun all you want. But the next time you want to earn $40, have someone else drive you to town to mow lawns."

"Or," I said, "grow your hair long and part it in the middle, and stand on the street corner."

Thank you. I'll be here all week.


Kathy's Klothesline said...

He might even make more than $40. Streetwalker. Takes me back in time. Used to know a preachers wife who referred to anyone she disliked as a devilish whore. Male or female, didn't matter.......... devislish whore is waht she called them.

Hillbilly Mom said...

Crime Solver H declared that you don't see blond or redheaded streetwalkers BECAUSE THEY ALL DYE THEIR HAIR BLACK. You'd think he'd have more sense than that, what will all those How to Murder Your Wife shows that he watches.