Wouldn't You Like To Be A Possum Too?

Some of my students have created an exclusive club. You have to be initiated to get in. My son did not pass the initiation. That's his own fault, but he swears he was put through a tainted initiation. They call this club something like Authenticated Possums. That's not the real name, but it escapes me right now. The initiation consists of one of the current Possums asking the pledge four questions, but I can only remember three:

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*How much dirt is in a hole two feet wide and two feet long?
*A plane crashes on the Canada/U.S. border. Where will the survivors be buried?
*A rooster sitting on a rooftop lays an egg. Which side does it roll down?
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The #1 son says his questioner asked, "There's an egg laying on a roof. Which side does it roll down?" Too bad, so sad. He should have asked for more information. I don't really have much sympathy for him. It's not like he applied to Mensa.

I do, however, feel the pain of one young lad who had just returned from a four-day absence with a medical excuse. He was not quite up to speed, having lolled about on a six-day weekend, not having to tax his brain with such burning questions. His initiation went a little something like this:

How much dirt is in a hole two feet wide and two feet long?
I don't know.
There's no dirt in a hole!
Yes there is!
No. There isn't. It's a HOLE!
Yes there is! The sides are all dirt.
But the hole is empty.
How do you know? What if it rains? Then there's mud in it, see? It's not empty.
Nope. You missed it.

A plane crashes on the Canadian border. Where are the survivors buried?
They're DEAD!
You don't bury survivors! They're ALIVE!
Well, you COULD bury them--but they'd be really mad.
You CAN'T bury survivors! They're alive.
You could bury them alive--and THEN they'd be dead!
No. You missed it.

A rooster sits on a rooftop and lays an egg. Which side does it roll down?
I don't know! Either side.
A rooster doesn't lay eggs! You missed them. You can't be in our club.
Well ain't you guys slick! You SHOULD let me in, because I had a good answer for all your questions.

The bell rang then, and I don't know if membership was granted. I would have given him a second chance for effort.