Fool Me Twice

No more Mrs. Nice Mom. I am done. Done, done, done. For years, I have tried to support the students and their fundraisers. Anybody who was first to ask me, I would buy something. Just because they took the time to ask. But those days are over, my friends. No more. I am not a charity.

Last week, a student stopped to collect for the items she had sold me for the FCCLA fundraiser. The only problem was...I had already paid her. It's a cash deal. I don't want students running around with my checking account number or knowing where I bank. I've never had any problems with irresponsible student accounting. Until now.

From this little saleswoman, whom I shall call Little S, I purchased one dozen Krispy Kreme donuts at $6 per dozen, and one candle for $10. On the day she asked me to buy something, I had seven dollars in my pocket. I said, "Can I pay you for the donuts today, and the candle tomorrow?" She agreed, and took my $6. The next day, I had a $20 bill that I had been unable to change. Little S took it to either the FCCLA sponsor or the office, I don't know which. She returned, and gave me $10 back and kept $10. I was paid in full. I did not ask for a receipt. I've never had a problem.

Last week, Little S came to me in the hall before class, and said she needed the money for my fundraiser stuff. The donuts had already come in and been consumed by my personal children, but the candle had just arrived. I said, "I thought I already paid you." Little S said, "Do you think so? You only paid for one of your Krispy Kremes." I reminded her that I had only bought one dozen of the Krispy Kremes. Little S seemed confused. "I remember. You had me go get change for a twenty." Yes. And if I had a twenty, why would I have only paid $6 of my $16 tab? Huh? But there was no reasoning with Little S. She went off to see if her sponsor had the money. Right. That is the largest club EVAH! Like the sponsor would know if Little S was short $10. And if so, that it was MY $10. Little S came back. "She doesn't have it." Duh. So I forked over another $10 to get rid of her, though I KNOW I am right. I just bought a $20 candle.

Today, another embezzler reared her ugly head. This one for FCA, the Fellowship of Christian Athletes, though this girl is not on any teams, and probably doesn't even know what FCA stands for. They're a bit lax on their membership criteria. FCA was also selling candles. For $10. Little E, the embezzler, told me today that the money I paid her was lost. I told her, "That's not MY problem. I paid $10 for a candle, and I expect a candle." Fool me twice, shame on y'all, but fool me thrice, and I can't be fooled again. I really have to stop listening to those old snippets from George W.

Sweet Gummi Mary! What are these kids doing with the money? Little E had demanded payment the morning after I ordered the candle. She had no envelope to carry her money and order form. I told her I would make her a little envelope out of printer paper, and give it to her 7th hour. "No," she said, "give it to E-Friend who is in your class 1st hour. She can give it to me 2nd hour." OK. No skin off my nose. I folded and taped a little envelope, and labeled it "Little E's Candle Money." I put in my $10 bill and gave it to E-Friend. That day, 7th hour, Little E said, "I like that little envelope you made me." Nothing else was said until today. 7th hour.

"You know that candle money you gave me? Well, I had it in the back of my notebook, and then E-Friend picked up my notebook, and she doesn't know how to hold it right, and I guess the money fell out." Too bad, so sad. Either cough up the dough for my candle, or I will see that you are ex-communicated from FCA. Because fair is fair. Little E is trying to sell FIVE candles so she can also get an FCA T-shirt without paying for it. My purchase, her first, was enough to pay her dues. I have no sympathy for Little E. It sucks that she doesn't have $10 to replace my $10 that she lost. But life has consequences. I think not being allowed in FCA is getting off easy for stealing my $10.

I am not a charity. Nor a bottomless piggy bank.