Call the Common Sense Police. Call them now, and demand that they come and take away students who can not see the forest for the trees. NOW!
Two students who presented their science project today compared a Big Mac to a Subway sandwich. They had the right idea. Their hypothesis was that the Big Mac had more calories than the Subway sandwich. Quite plausible. Then they went about researching and proving their hypothesis. After checking the McDonald's nutritional website, they reported that a Big Mac contains 590 calories. Seems reasonable. Then they reported that a Subway sandwich has 250 calories. Which would be believable, except that they had a picture and a label on the side of their display touting the bread of a six-inch sub as having 220 calories. So I asked them what kind of sandwich this was, at Subway, that had 250 calories. What kind of rip-off is Subway trying to pull, what with only 30 calories of meat on a sandwich. They thought for a minute. They stammered. They declared it was, you know, a sandwich--a bread sandwich!
At the academic team contest this afternoon, a math question reared its ugly head. Sam bought a meal for $8.60 (obviously not a BREAD SANDWICH). The tax on Sam's meal was 5 percent. How much tax did Sam have to pay? One young lad rang in and answered, "$13.20." No. Just NO! Why would tax be more than the meal, son? THINK! Ten percent of $8.60 is $.86, and half of that is $.43. How hard was that? Not very. It's common sense.
Whatever happened to common sense, people? Please tell me. Not everybody knows higher math. My own son, for one, who buzzed in on: What is y to the fourth power, squared? Did my boy think, hmm...that's y to the fourth times y to the fourth...add the exponents when you multiply...that would mean..."Y to the eighth power." NOPE! My boy decided that the answer was y to the seventh power. Don't ask me how he reached this illogical decision. It's a mystery to me.
Oh, and on a side note, my ArchNemesis was reading the questions this evening. Here is a gem that I can't wait to repeat at Newmentia tomorrow. "What creature is known for having 8 long and two short testicles?" Oh, yeah! We had conniptions over that one. Both teams had 4 boys sitting at their tables during this round. They blushed. They sniggered. We heehawed! ArchNemesis said, "Mrs. Hillbilly Mom, this will not enter the other building." Uh huh. Then she told the teams, "Sorry. My braces get in the way sometimes."
CAN TONGUES NOT BE TRAINED?
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7 comments:
Tongues can be trained, but you're going to need a lot of testicles while you're training them.
Stewyoumustlearntoclarify,
I'm guessing that you need the 8 long testicles for that training.
Why would tax be more than the meal, son?
Because the government tried to borrow its way out of debt and years later had to raise taxes to 260% to pay it back?
Miss Ann,
Did you really do math to get that 260%? Because I am not so inclined to mathiness tonight, and I will take your word for it.
Maybe it's something even MORE sinister:
It's the fat tax, stupid.
I'm not calling YOU stupid. I mean it like the "It's the economy, stupid" quote. That fat tax may START in New York, but it won't take long to ooze its slimy tentacles out west.
Didn't they already propose something like that in 'Missippi'? Or to ban overweight people from fast food or some such ridiculous thingy?
Before you know it, the government will be telling you who you can have on your blogroll.
No, I didn't do the math. Math hurts.
Are they really trying to start a fat tax in NY? I have heard the phrase "fat tax" here and there, but thought they were talking about the idiot in Mississippi who proposed banning fat people from restaurants. We're the fattest state, you know. But the people eating in restaurants aren't the biggest part of our fat population; it's the people who are on welfare. They use food stamps to buy Cheetos and grape dranks, and I think they take them home and deep fry them with some chitlin's. So poverty and the fact that 40% of our population is on welfare-- those are the problems he should've been addressing, not people eating in restaurants.
Have you heard about the senator in CA who's trying to get the children's rights treaty ratified? They're apparently going to fix it where we can't make our kids do the dishes, or ground them for breaking curfew, or do anything that would "interfere with their freedom of thought, conscience, and religion." Making him wash the dishes could be considered "arbitrary or unlawful interference with his or her privacy."
http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2009/02/25/boxer-seeks-ratify-treaty-erode-rights/
Hook me up with a link to your political blog.
Miss Ann,
I've heard of the No Child Can Be Punished Treaty.
New York's governor proposed an 18% tax on 'sugary sodas and juice drinks' with the dual purpose of reducing obesity and raising $400 million per year. Here's the source:
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/12/17/nyregion/17sugartax.html
Oh, yeah. I forgot to congratulate you on being the fattest state. I'm still stuck on the unwed mother crown (or the teen birth trophy, or whatever honor that was bestowed upon your great state by the CDC).
Miss Ann,
I forgot the link. It's been right under your nose all this time. If it was a snake, it would have snuck up in your window to make you scream.
Check out Ozark Hill Gal, looking for her pony, over in the sidebar.
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