A Day In The Life Of Hillbilly Mom

I awoke bright and early, not by choice, when HH poked me at 5:30 a.m. After calmly explaining to him that I did not appreciate being awoken at 5:30 a.m. on a day when I could sleep until 7:30, I resumed my slumber eventually, and arose at 7:00.

After popping a thyroid pill, I proceeded to hack up some Oreos, mix them in the batter of a Betty Crocker Chocolate Fudge Cake, wash some dishes (I might have mentioned at one time that I don't have a dishwasher), woke the #1 son for church, had a brief skirmish with HH because I asked who was in the recliner making that noise that means it is rocking too much and moving the chair backwards. Normally, a simple question which ends the rocking, except that HH was the one who set the recliner to rocking instead of the #1 son, and he accused ME of accusing HIM of rocking the chair, which took a lot of NERVE, what with him being the master of the house and deserving to rock the recliner whenever he was so inclined. It was just a simple question, really, and HH jumped to conclusions and declared war on me.

With the cake baking, I took a quick shower. Then I removed the cake from the oven and set it to cool over the dish drainer while I dried dishes by hand and put them away. (I might have let it slip that I don't have a dishwasher). Next on the agenda was laying out clothes for The Pony and whisking him off to town so we could shop at the Devil. Ninety minutes later, we were back home putting away the spoils. I cooled my heels at my New Delly for about an hour, composing an important email regarding a situation that is both family and school-related. Then I called the #1 son at the end of church to ask him to pick up the ink-jet paper I had forgotten, since he was planning to shop at the Devil himself.

Then I went upstairs to gather The Pony's birthday gifts into their gift bag, since we were opening his presents when my mom arrived at the Mansion with the #1 son. After the gift extravaganza, I discovered when my mom let the cat out of the bag that #1 had forgotten to pick up my ink jet paper, yet had bought himself a new charging cable for his Lappy. I don't ask for much, do I? But it's still too much for my men to remember, what with all those busy thoughts rushing through their heads, thoughts like 'breathe in, breathe out, chew first, then swallow, stop breathing to swallow, etc.'

Next we all piled into T-Hoe for a birthday excursion to the city. Before we were even out of our gravel road compound, HH pointed out a plot and a manufactured home across from the boys' land up on the hill. We discussed the relative merits of buying it and selling off 3 acres with the manufactured home, which butts up against our other land down by the creek. Or we could rent the home to pay the payment. Or we could continue to throw our money away into a savings account that earns next to nothing until all the banks fail and we have nothing. Land is the only thing that continually increases in value. We paid $1000/acre for a 10-acre plot on the first land we bought out here, and now it is going for $3000/acre for the same amount of land 10 years later. I'd say that's a pretty good return on your money. Land. They're not making any more of it.

From there it was off to Chuck E. Cheese, a place where a Pony can be a Pony. But not today! There was line way out the front door, so I decreed that we were not going there, in spite of the bountiful coupons my mom had cut out for us. The #1 son recommended The Incredible Pizza Company, where he had gone on a school incentive trip. It was a rousing success, what with a food bar for $5 a person, and more games than Chuck E. We played air hockey and mini-bowling and miniature golf and arcade games. The boys didn't even want to ride the go-karts, which was kind of incredible in itself.

Now we are back home, ready to watch the first episode of The Amazing Race. I think The Pony had a good birthday, even though he said he didn't realize it was going to take all day. He's a homebody like his mama.

My baby is 11 now. I knew I should have taken him for a kid-priced haircut at Great Clips yesterday!