The Clicker Ticks Me Off

People piss me off. Royally.

In the hall between 1st and 2nd hour, a kid who is four days late in presenting his project said that he only had to 'type up two more parts of it and it would be ready'. First of all, we spent FIVE freakin' days in the computer lab so students could type up their project info. FIVE freakin' days in which I asked for a specific step each day to be typed and presented to me for a grade. FIVE freakin' days during which I asked numerous people numerous times, "Do you have your project finished, because you haven't turned in (insert specific part here) yet? And they would turn from the online games on their screens and assure me that yes, it was done, but at home. Uh huh.

So anyway, this kid asked to use my computer, the one that I let kids use, to print his info before his presentation. Seeing as how I had to stand in the hall until the bell, I told him, "Yes. It is on. Just turn on the monitor and log on. It is slow." That's my standard instruction for this computer. Overnight, the school automatically shuts down ALL computers, and when I get to school, I hit the power button on both of mine. If the students don't need it, I don't mess with this one until The Pony gets there after school, and I log it on for him to play games. I logged him off yesterday around 4:00, and didn't give it a second thought.

Halfway through class, I hear a strange clicking noise coming from the back of the room. I go back there, and it is that kid, left-clicking that mouse about 300 times per minute. "WHAT are you doing?" He looked confused, like he didn't speak English. "It won't come on. It's just a black screen." It was all I could do to keep from ripping that mouse out of his hand. "So you think clicking the mouse is going to speed it up?" He shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know." I looked at the screen and it was in that start-up mode saying that it had failed to start, and I could start it normally or I could start it at the last successful configuration or I could start it in safe mode or two other options concerning safe mode that escape me at the moment. I tried three different options, but it still kept up the loop of looking like it was going to start, then going back to that screen. The kid swore that he had not hit the power button or done anything funky, though his clicking habits give me pause.

I called my #1 son who happened to be in his computer class at Basementia, and he didn't know how to fix it. His teacher joined in and offered me a replacement laptop, which I declined, because this is a computer that I bought out of fundraising money, and I want it to work again. I called LunchBuddy down in her computer lab, and she suggested the same things as they did, which did not work. She offered to put in a work order, which I accepted, even though I could have done it myself on my school computer, because when SHE types, people listen. I could not even print, because my printer is hooked up to that computer, and my other one is set to share the printer.

Fifteen minutes before school was out, the Computer Guy walked in and poked around on it. As he walked out, I asked if he needed the bells and whistles that came with it. He said to set them out, so I dug out the carefully marked box and propped it up by my dear, departed one. The kids in classes all day tried to help, the most poignant suggestion being: "Have you tried turning on the monitor?" After school, my boy at least set up my printer for the good computer.

I am not sure what caused my computer crisis. Since I am not privy to the inner workings of technological systems, I have no idea if that kid had anything to do with it. Some catastrophe could have occurred overnight, perhaps, totally unrelated to his clicking. Like the early people who saw the sun slide into the sea, sure each night would be their death, I judge The Clicker to be guilty, based solely on circumstantial evidence. He was the last one to touch it before I found out it was dead. Therefore, he must be the murderer.

The Computer Guy said he was coming back. I set out the accoutrements for his browsing pleasure. Time will tell.

I am not optimistic. It seems like performing CPR on a dinosaur.

And in other People-Pissing-Me-Off News...a half mile up our private gravel road this evening, we discovered a lovely water heater and washing machine that some thoughtful soul had deposited near the creek. Because we country people don't have enough of our own worn-out appliances. The rich are so nice to drop these nonworking worksavers off to us poor people, what with the economy in such a condition. I'm sure they will sleep better for their efforts.