Random Thought Thursday 9-18-08

My favorite route to school has been altered. I hate progress. Now I have to drive away from where I'm going, on a new outer road, and double back, after a short re-route through town and three stoplights, and to make matters worse, none of the new branches off this new road are marked, and in place of a stop light or stop sign, there is a roundabout. WTF? I am not European. I do not understand the point of this roundabout. It would be fine for a little-used Sunday drive. But this road serves a Missouri Class 4A High School. Can you imagine the traffic on that roundabout during the morning and afternoon hours? I don't even want to think about football games and graduation. The old route used to back up for a half-mile, what with people parking along the road illegally. And I don't think buses are shaped right to partake of this roundabout. Oh, and did I mention that there is also an emergency room hospital with a helipad right next to the school? I hope nobody gets lost rushing to the ER. I hope people know how to get out of the way of the ambulance in that roundabout. Progress, smrogress is what I say. By cracky!

The Pony brought home his progress report today. It was straight A. That means not even an A-. No grade lower than a 98%. I was a bit surprised. The Pony does not flaunt his intellect like the #1 son. The Pony's teacher wrote a note that he is an extraordinary student. Perhaps this will make up for that day last week when the teacher refused to wear The Pony's metal Roman helmet all day, eliciting the comment from The Pony: "Dirty, dirty liar!" Told to me, not to the teacher himself. The Pony really does like him. He just had his feelings hurt by the helmet betrayal.

The mailbox will not open. It is some kind of darned HH contraption, made from some steel pipe, with a round door that closes magnetically. Except that something went horribly wrong in the closure department, and at times we get the beans above the frank, which, if you're not a fan of Something About Mary, means that the door goes past the latch and gets stuck. I blame either the mailman who is out to get me, or the sugar-addled spawn of those darned bus people, who were bouncing all over the new bridge yesterday, throwing stones the size of garbage can lids into the recently-dredged creek. Never mind the underlying malfunctionism of HH's design.

My sweet, sweet Histinex is TOO sweet. It is sometimes hard to take. That stuff would kill Wilford Brimley. I, on the other hand, choke it down with enthusiasm. It's either that, or die trying to hack up a wet lung.

I had to argue with one of my techies today. I gave him permission to go to the bathroom before the tardy bell, and when he came in, he disrupted my class by appearing behind my desk bear-hugging and lifting a student from the opposite side of the room. I turned from my inconveniently-located computer after taking roll, and caught the end of that act. I told him in no uncertain terms to sit down and be quiet, and he did not have the good sense of the other hugging bear to keep his trap shut. Oh, and he raised his voice to me, which totally made me ratchet up my act, and tell him right from the start, "I WILL have the last word, whatever it takes, because that's the kind of person I am, and you, of all people, should know that, having been in my class two years ago." He agreed. And it was over. That's all I ask. See the light, and back down, and put me back in charge. It's a learning curve. It was a good indoctrination for those in the class who don't really know me yet. I can be flexible, as long as I remain top dog. We had a guest speaker during our back-to-school workshops who told us never to do that, try to have the last word. Oh, and never to use sarcasm. Um...we discuss the ridiculousness of his theories frequently at the lunch table. Mr. S is a fan of the sarcasm. By the time you've reached the dog-years of experience that we have, you have pretty much figured out what works for you. Or else you would be selling used cars.

Speaking of Mr. S...I truly appreciate him donating his time each afternoon to help supervise the parking lot. He does not have to do that. But I would like him to stop stepping in front of me whichever way I turn. I am trying to view the students and their cars. It is MY duty. But he keeps turning me like an untrained shepherd. I almost did a 360 the other day.

Sometimes my mind keeps running when I try to shut it down.