Random Thought Thursday, 1/29/09

I just love 6-day weekends, don't you?

I have a new invention that I'd like to share. It's even better than the Armpit Fart Straw. It's a menthol and methyl salicylate foot balm for treating a cough. It will come in a container shaped like a bare foot, and the toes will be a cap that pops off so you can roll it on like deodorant. That way, no messy hands from rubbing salve on the feet. Sure, it's a rip-off of the Vicks foot treatment home remedy for kids' coughs, but so much more convenient. Don't tell anybody.

The Pony just might have brain damage from all the years of the #1 son thumping him in the head. My first clue is that The Pony doesn't know enough to come in out of the snow. I opened the door yesterday to tell the boys it was time to come in, and The Pony, sitting in the snow beside the pen that houses the Very Special Chicken, sighed and said, "Good. It's really cold out here." When I asked him if he was too stupid to come in when he got cold, he said, "#1 wouldn't let me. He's been throwing sleet balls at my head."

The #1 son is turning into that little girl, Rhoda, in The Bad Seed. He is evil personified. At least he hasn't drowned Claude Daigle by stomping his hands off the dock to get his penmanship medal, or burnt up the Super by setting the apartment house of fire, or made a date to tan on the roof with Aunt Monica to inherit her lovebird in the event that a terrible accident occurs. But other than that, except for not being a precocious little blond girl who is followed by the sound of a piano riff just before she does something psychopathic, he's just like her.

We have to venture to town tomorrow to pay some bills and stock up on necessities. Thank the Gummi Mary, we had enough bread and milk to get us through this storm. We had about 8 inches, half of it sleet. I caught the #1 son carrying a slab of ice the size and thickness of a large pizza box. He never did explain what he was going to do with it. Pony? Beware.

I read I Was Told There'd Be Cake while we've been off. I kept waiting for it to get laugh-out-loud funny, but it never did. My favorite LOL funny book was Kick Me: Adventures in Adolescence by Paul Feig. That one brought tears to my eyes, and made me laugh so hard I couldn't explain my mirth to those who asked about it. His other book, Superstud: Or How I Became a 24-Year-Old Virgin, was almost as funny.

According to Mabel, I probably could have had this post done by 5:30 this morning, since I have nothing else to do all day. I have boxed up my boys, with their mouths flapping like starving baby birds, demanding FOOD all day long, to ship to one Mabel Q. Mathie, but I may have to unwrap them, what with this talk of the Post Office cutting out a day of delivery. Unfortunately, I missed Miss Mabel's phone call this afternoon, what with being away from my Loretta Lynn-singing Samsung in anticipation of Jeopardy. I've got to stay sharp. Trivia is coming up at the end of February.