Stop The Inanity!

I have issues. Issues with this newfangled technology.

Let's go back to the good ol' days of those mimeograph machines with the purple stuff and smell that just might have made you high if you sniffed enough of it, and those old projectors with a big reel and a take-up reel and a light bulb, and those film strip thingies where you had to read a caption for each frame, and slide projectors with a big tray that you had to get just right, and then not tip it and dump the slides. Yeah. And slide rules, and charts in the back of the trig book for sine/cosine/tangent, and blackboards with white chalk that kids begged to get a bucket of water to clean for you, and no cell phones, and no computers, and one old black-and-white TV that they kept in the cafetorium to call the whole school down to watch something historic.

Not that I'm old enough to remember any of those things.

I am not fond of our new Gradebook program. Or the learnin' modules about Word and PowerPoint and Excel that we are supposed to master by going through them at our own pace on our computers. HELLO! We need training in technology, so you make us do it individually on computer? What is wrong with this picture?

My dear sweet Shiba even acted up lately. It was not so much her fault as the fault of Mitzy, the Mitsubishi projector. You'd think they would be compatible. They come from the same homeland. But no. Mitzy runs hot and cold. Sometimes she can't be turned on. Sometimes she refuses to acknowledge Shiba, or belittles her. Then I have to go deep into Shiba's psyche and have her alter the basics of her personality, just to suit Mitzy. Then, I had trouble with the twins, Kenny and Kendall, my Kenwood speakers. They just wanted to buzz and not make the proper sounds. I had to yank their cord and jerk them into line with Shiba.

And once I turned off Shiba, she would not give me back my DVD. Cheeky little minx! The #1 son was ready to fix her good. He said, "I'll get your DVD back. Do you have a pencil?" Without waiting for my answer, or considering the inanity of asking a teacher if she had a pencil, he rifled through my desk and came back with my purple mechanical pencil, and proceeded to shoot out four inches of lead. He discarded the pencil and approached Shiba with the lead, pointing it like a switchblade in a street fight. I told him to back off. I did not want my Shiba jabbed nor jammed with a piece of 0.5 lead. I thought the boy knew better. He's a regular technology aficionado, that one.

One thing is for sure. Hillmomba will not have a financial crisis. Only the barter system here. No credit. We'll take chickens and pot-bellied pigs in trade. And we bury our money in a mason jar in the back yard. The back yard we plan to mine for copper one of these days.