The Boy Who Was Embarrassed

Here's a cheery little Thanksgiving tale, courtesy of my niece. She went to her boyfriend's family farm for dinner, and got to meet some of his relatives for the first time. Here's how she told the story.

One of the uncles showed up. They didn't know he was coming in from Chicago. He brought his two kids. The little boy was about 4 or 5. We were playing outside, and he kept saying, "Watch me! Watch me!" Then he would run out to the road and back. On about the fifth time, he didn't come back. I started to get worried, then I saw him behind a tree. I thought he was trying to climb it. He was on the far side of the tree, so I moved over where I could see him better. He had his pants down, and was squatting to go poop. I hollered, "Hey, I think he needs to go to the bathroom." They took him inside. While we were waiting for him to go, the family said that he doesn't like to use the bathroom. Sometimes he holds it for days. It's like he's embarrassed or something to sit on the toilet, so he goes outside. Sometimes they put a diaper on him. He finally got done, and his poop was so big that it clogged the toilet. They didn't have a plunger, and they were trying to unclog it, and it was a big commotion. When they finally got it cleared, one of the uncles said, "That turd was so big, it looked like a miniature football."

By this time my sister and HH and I were laughing so hard we could barely talk. I wanted to know how he went to the bathroom outside in Chicago? Did they take him to the park for a walk every day? Did they have a fenced yard? Who used the pooper-scooper? My sister said no wonder he held it in, it was such a big production every time he went on the toilet. She was amazed that he was more embarrassed to sit on a toilet behind a closed door than to drop his pants behind a tree.

Then the boyfriend yelled from downstairs, where he was busy beating the pants off the #1 son at Guitar Hero, that the boy was embarrassed to use someone else's toilet--he used his own toilet at home.

Well. Glad we could clear up that little detail.