The NEW home of the OH SO PRETTY Hillbilly Mom, nestled in the heart of DoNotLand, where the Gummi Mary appeared on a plate of melted Gummi Bears and was unceremoniously half-devoured by a DoNot, and dumped in the wastebasket. The excitement of that day was rivaled only by the New Year's Day trip to Save-A-Lot, where a woman followed Mrs. Hillbilly Mom, stroked her arm, asked if she was married, and declared, "You are SO PRETTY."
Monday, November 16, 2009
How The Mighty Have Fallen
It has taken me a couple of weeks to let it sink in, but I did not win the recliner in the local prep football contest. I am sorely disappointed. The paper ranked me as finishing in 4th place, but that's a dirty lie. There were only two people ahead of me, the winner and one other. I finished 3 points out of the lead. The winner garnered 135 points, a sports reporter for the paper earned 134, and me, myself and I brought up position #3 with 132. The person after me had only amassed 131, so tell me, please, how that puts ME in 4th place. If only two are ahead of you, isn't that 3rd? That's what I'm calling myself, anyway. The bronze medal winner of the prep football contest.
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